To My Dearest Friend, I wish us all the best upon our future endeavours, For I believe, We'll meet again, Sometime, Someday, Somewhere, Along our life journey. I wish upon u, my love, My Dearest Friend.
3/16/2009 01:44:00 PM
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Hai.. There's only ard 5more days till enlistment. Scared? no. Nervous? Probably. But i'm definitely feelin kinda nostalgic about it. Sorta like there's lots of stuff i haven't done, or regret not doin, but somehow i dun have much time left to do it.
It's kinda like the feelin that u wanna set urself to doin something, but somehow u know u won't have the time to complete it all. In the end, u probably end up doin nothing, n feelin even more shitty that u haven't done wat u should have done. Probably that's really wat i should do, just stayin at home n doin nothing, n just enjoy the feelin of family, or homeliness. Somehow, I already know i'll miss home, i'll miss my frens, n I'll miss *HER*, but then there's no way i can pre-empt or prevent any of such stuff from comin, cos NS is not something I can control or escape. Of course ppl would be sayin "Aiya. time will pass quickly lah", "It's ok one. It's part and parcel of life", "U can still call n sms wat"... etc. Probably, some would even call me weak, useless or a wimp for bein so afraid of NS or wat, but i'll like to emphasize that i'm not one bit afraid of it. Actually, i was even kinda lookin forward to it a month or probably 2 or 3 weeks ago. Oh wells, i guess this is just me as usual, always good at feelin nostalgic n stuff.
I dunno why, but i've been thinkin alot about my life recently. From pri sch till now, I haven't really thought about my future, my life.. Yea, of course kids always sorta had some ambitions they wanted when they were young: I wanted to be a X-men. Haha.. alright. I was kiddin on that one( not totally but I knew i would never be), mine was a combination of several occupations. I visioned myself workin with ppl, enforcin the law, curin ppl, takin up courtcases, teachin kids, n probably somewhere even a NBA player (this i still try to entertain my self-denial n fantasy by creatin myself on NBA 2k9 or live 09 with perfect ratings. HAHA). Heck man, those were the times that u could dream all day, and the sky still wouldn't fall on u. Of course the sky still doesn't drop today ( I meant the formal in a literal manner, but i still believe the sky would never fall..), but reality seems to creep up on me, day by day, hour by hour. In fact, some of my peers have experienced such stuff tryin to look for jobs before the results r out, while i'm lucky to be enlistin earlier n need not fret about slackin or no-pay days, but wat i'm thinkin is long-term.. My exams were over, n somehow(in fact totally) I feel i could have done much better. No use cryin over spilt milk, but i'm just hopin that probably i could just get into a course i enjoy so that I could set a target for myself in the long-term. From time to time, I envision myself an intellect, a scholar, in the future, but somehow i know i probably won't be. The gist of all my worries generally just lies with the fact that i'm not confident about my results.. I dunno where i'll end up, but somehow i've made the worst decisions in my mind. The impt thing is not failure, but learnin how to deal with it. Somehow i've made up my mind not to give myself any shortcuts or any easy way out if i've any opportunities. Singapore, of course is a land of opportunities, but the essence still lies in how one can use the given scarce resources most effectively to achieve the swiftest n best results. I've not used mine well, n somehow i'm just waitin for judgement day to come. In retrospect, perhaps i haven't spent my whole hols in vain, for i've picked up some impt lessons in life, to not waste n squander away precious resources-time anymore..
Hai.. Finished with "exam results" phobia, I'm just thinkin recently that i probably dun understand myself. Perhaps, this is why, sometimes i just have no explanations for my own actions. I know i've hurt ppl through some of my actions, I know it's unintentional, cos even i have no reasons or excuses for myself. Deep down, i even blame myself for all the shit i've done. Well, some would say nobody is perfect, or that nobody will always do things right. One thing is for sure now, that is i'm not nobody because i haven't seen any perfect in me. However, i've decided in me, that i'm goin to embark on this life-changin journey, that is i'm goin to change myself, by instillin certain disciplines on myself. No person can live without principles. So do i. With that, My new year resolution for 2009 would be to abide by my new principles and become a better person (dun ask me wat it is because it's just for myself). Oh wells, i've felt better after typin this post. Gonna end here.. All the Best everybody, and wish myself Good Luck for NS! =)
P.S. To Liyuan: I'm sorry for disappointin u once again. I'm really such a sorry jerk. I know I suck, and I'm really sorry. That's why I've decided to change. I hope u'll forgive me:(
1/03/2009 04:08:00 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Oh.. I'm back. Had an abrupt exit yesterday cos had a real difficult time figurin out this blog skin esp the music part. In the end, i thought i settled it, only to realise that i cannot scroll for music side=.= Hai.. dun care already. if want to know wat songs there r just click on the forward or rewind button or wat. Afterall there's only like 7 songs.
Anyway, the song that i would like to specifically mention is the first one, "Everything" by Misia. Dun ask me who she is or wat, because i've only seen her once in her mtv for this song on mtv channel. Feel that this song is really nice. kinda emotional with a punch. Her voice is real good i think. Real powerful too. Alright, here's the lyrics from yahoo.com.cn.
Hmm.. the first time i listened to this song, i'm really kinda attracted n touched by it. It gives me a kinda feelin that's like if i ever have of anyone, I'll marry that person immediately. Haha.. but prob I'm still quite a distance and age from that topic.. wouldn't understand wat marriage is yet wouldn't i? Haha.. alright. here's the mtv from youtube..
Actually.. I really hope that i can have the kinda feelin i mentioned above for u... But.. i dunno.. maybe time will tell everything.. maybe time will help everything work out. or maybe.... time will destroy everything we have now.. but no matter wat, time won't destroy our memories.. ever....
11/23/2008 11:52:00 PM
Wow.. Finally completed a new skin. First time completed a blog ALL by MYSELF. Haha.. quite an achievement. Alright. kinda late so i'm goin to sleep. goodnight!=)
11/23/2008 02:10:00 AM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Oh Wells.. A's r finally over.. It's supposed to be a day that i'm looking forward to (dun misunderstand.. I'm still glad it came), but somehow probably cos i know i'm not that best prepared for it yet so it's kinda like a it's "here n gone before u even know it" kinda feeling.
End of As probably just meant a new phase of life for me. The time to do whatever i've always wanted to do but couldn't due to sch n exams, until my enlistment on 8th Jan. Somehow the things to do has already accumulated to such a long list even as my exams have just ended. Can't really figure out wat exactly to do first, but chalet's comin up right tmr (or maybe just later since it's over 12 mid already). Oh wells, no complaints since it's time for vacation:) All the best everybody, take care, cos Charlie's back Yo!=)
Why? Why did this have to happen? I know it's partially my fault, but I just need some time to accept it. Probably this has been the basis of many of ur actions n complaints. But... did u know my impression of u has somehow changed alittle? I dunno if i can still trust u, even as i do not know if u trust me too. Somehow, this relationship has evolved into another dilemma. To carry on or not, the same way or not.. I dunno.. Even at this very moment, I'm not sure if we'll still work out the way we used to be. Somehow, I still feel that u're still hidin somethings from me, even as u're haunted by the ghosts of ur past. Probably I'm undeserving of u, as i'm unable to fufill promises of happiness and love, or should I make this our umpteenth shot at it, which would probably face vulnerability soon, as we once again pick on superficial problems, without correct our innate fundamental ones. Indeed, I'm the greatest fool for I really do not know wat i've always thought i know/can do. I'm Sorry, for all that I am.
11/19/2008 12:45:00 AM
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
95 Days n counting down. Yes! i now officially have less than 95 days till my A's. Kinda unbelievable if u're actually able to feel it approachin u. In fact, it's kinda worryin and scary given my progress. No no, I'm not sayin i think i can't do it, but i know i got to buck up faster.
Hai.. dun really feel like bloggin about studies. It's a given that i have to do it, n so there isn't much to complain about.
There have been lots of things happening around us lately. Brazil comin to S'pore, Ren Ci getting into embezzlement scandals after NKF, n the Olympics loomin. I'm particularly looking forward to the Olympics since I'll probably get to see some of my favourite basketball players competin in it. However, It also means that exams r nearer once again...
Haha.. i guess studies really can't be out of my mind. It's after all, really my priority now. Been kinda impressed by lots of career n scholarship talks in my sch lately. Dun really know wat to choose yet, cos as the speaker said today, students today r spoilt for chioce, n i figured out, since this it so, why not take my time on it? Haha.. probably i'm kinda jumping the gun by sayin so cos i haven't even achieved my ideal grades, or even decent grades yet.. But i'm kinda considerin Arts sub or probably courses like psychology or wat. can't decide totally cos somewhere in my mind, i'm also thinkin of law even though my results sucks now. haha..
I've had a realisatin lately too.. I guess, this world is probably too complicated beyond our apprehension. Sometimes, U won't even know wat is goin on.. It makes u feel terrible n difficult, but somehow, things just dun become any better. Maybe it's cos curiosity kills the cat, or maybe it's just cos humans r overly particular with the discovery of the truth. Some way or another, inter-personal relationships r this way too. U wouldn't know wat's goin on sometimes. this is why perhaps ppl should be more frank with one another abt their feelings.. How good it is if everyone tells the truth.. but then again, how bad? Haha.. we al have to acknowledge that this world will never be perfect cos it'll always have imperfections. The way is to keep everything simple perhaps, by just havin simple n pure thoughts (critical thinkin???). But well, it doesn't mean others would behave this way just cos u will. Hai oh hai.. wat the world I'm living in ( i know this might not make sense, but then again, wat's sense?)
gtg. pardon my gibberish. feel an urge to come here n just talk gibberish (of course i type it out lah.. literally talk lah... )
7/29/2008 10:08:00 PM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Haha.. I know i promised to write some stuff here.. or maybe sms it to u.. but after all.. i think i won't want to repeat the whole cycle in my mind again, cos the point is to start all over again on a fresh sheet isn't it? Haha.. Anyway, if u really do want to know, i only have these words from Jay Chou's 彩虹 for u:
To My Dearest Friend, I wish us all the best upon our future endeavours, For I believe, We'll meet again, Sometime, Someday, Somewhere, Along our life journey. I wish upon u, my love, My Dearest Friend.
3/16/2009 01:44:00 PM
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Hai.. There's only ard 5more days till enlistment. Scared? no. Nervous? Probably. But i'm definitely feelin kinda nostalgic about it. Sorta like there's lots of stuff i haven't done, or regret not doin, but somehow i dun have much time left to do it.
It's kinda like the feelin that u wanna set urself to doin something, but somehow u know u won't have the time to complete it all. In the end, u probably end up doin nothing, n feelin even more shitty that u haven't done wat u should have done. Probably that's really wat i should do, just stayin at home n doin nothing, n just enjoy the feelin of family, or homeliness. Somehow, I already know i'll miss home, i'll miss my frens, n I'll miss *HER*, but then there's no way i can pre-empt or prevent any of such stuff from comin, cos NS is not something I can control or escape. Of course ppl would be sayin "Aiya. time will pass quickly lah", "It's ok one. It's part and parcel of life", "U can still call n sms wat"... etc. Probably, some would even call me weak, useless or a wimp for bein so afraid of NS or wat, but i'll like to emphasize that i'm not one bit afraid of it. Actually, i was even kinda lookin forward to it a month or probably 2 or 3 weeks ago. Oh wells, i guess this is just me as usual, always good at feelin nostalgic n stuff.
I dunno why, but i've been thinkin alot about my life recently. From pri sch till now, I haven't really thought about my future, my life.. Yea, of course kids always sorta had some ambitions they wanted when they were young: I wanted to be a X-men. Haha.. alright. I was kiddin on that one( not totally but I knew i would never be), mine was a combination of several occupations. I visioned myself workin with ppl, enforcin the law, curin ppl, takin up courtcases, teachin kids, n probably somewhere even a NBA player (this i still try to entertain my self-denial n fantasy by creatin myself on NBA 2k9 or live 09 with perfect ratings. HAHA). Heck man, those were the times that u could dream all day, and the sky still wouldn't fall on u. Of course the sky still doesn't drop today ( I meant the formal in a literal manner, but i still believe the sky would never fall..), but reality seems to creep up on me, day by day, hour by hour. In fact, some of my peers have experienced such stuff tryin to look for jobs before the results r out, while i'm lucky to be enlistin earlier n need not fret about slackin or no-pay days, but wat i'm thinkin is long-term.. My exams were over, n somehow(in fact totally) I feel i could have done much better. No use cryin over spilt milk, but i'm just hopin that probably i could just get into a course i enjoy so that I could set a target for myself in the long-term. From time to time, I envision myself an intellect, a scholar, in the future, but somehow i know i probably won't be. The gist of all my worries generally just lies with the fact that i'm not confident about my results.. I dunno where i'll end up, but somehow i've made the worst decisions in my mind. The impt thing is not failure, but learnin how to deal with it. Somehow i've made up my mind not to give myself any shortcuts or any easy way out if i've any opportunities. Singapore, of course is a land of opportunities, but the essence still lies in how one can use the given scarce resources most effectively to achieve the swiftest n best results. I've not used mine well, n somehow i'm just waitin for judgement day to come. In retrospect, perhaps i haven't spent my whole hols in vain, for i've picked up some impt lessons in life, to not waste n squander away precious resources-time anymore..
Hai.. Finished with "exam results" phobia, I'm just thinkin recently that i probably dun understand myself. Perhaps, this is why, sometimes i just have no explanations for my own actions. I know i've hurt ppl through some of my actions, I know it's unintentional, cos even i have no reasons or excuses for myself. Deep down, i even blame myself for all the shit i've done. Well, some would say nobody is perfect, or that nobody will always do things right. One thing is for sure now, that is i'm not nobody because i haven't seen any perfect in me. However, i've decided in me, that i'm goin to embark on this life-changin journey, that is i'm goin to change myself, by instillin certain disciplines on myself. No person can live without principles. So do i. With that, My new year resolution for 2009 would be to abide by my new principles and become a better person (dun ask me wat it is because it's just for myself). Oh wells, i've felt better after typin this post. Gonna end here.. All the Best everybody, and wish myself Good Luck for NS! =)
P.S. To Liyuan: I'm sorry for disappointin u once again. I'm really such a sorry jerk. I know I suck, and I'm really sorry. That's why I've decided to change. I hope u'll forgive me:(
1/03/2009 04:08:00 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Oh.. I'm back. Had an abrupt exit yesterday cos had a real difficult time figurin out this blog skin esp the music part. In the end, i thought i settled it, only to realise that i cannot scroll for music side=.= Hai.. dun care already. if want to know wat songs there r just click on the forward or rewind button or wat. Afterall there's only like 7 songs.
Anyway, the song that i would like to specifically mention is the first one, "Everything" by Misia. Dun ask me who she is or wat, because i've only seen her once in her mtv for this song on mtv channel. Feel that this song is really nice. kinda emotional with a punch. Her voice is real good i think. Real powerful too. Alright, here's the lyrics from yahoo.com.cn.
Hmm.. the first time i listened to this song, i'm really kinda attracted n touched by it. It gives me a kinda feelin that's like if i ever have of anyone, I'll marry that person immediately. Haha.. but prob I'm still quite a distance and age from that topic.. wouldn't understand wat marriage is yet wouldn't i? Haha.. alright. here's the mtv from youtube..
Actually.. I really hope that i can have the kinda feelin i mentioned above for u... But.. i dunno.. maybe time will tell everything.. maybe time will help everything work out. or maybe.... time will destroy everything we have now.. but no matter wat, time won't destroy our memories.. ever....
11/23/2008 11:52:00 PM
Wow.. Finally completed a new skin. First time completed a blog ALL by MYSELF. Haha.. quite an achievement. Alright. kinda late so i'm goin to sleep. goodnight!=)
11/23/2008 02:10:00 AM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Oh Wells.. A's r finally over.. It's supposed to be a day that i'm looking forward to (dun misunderstand.. I'm still glad it came), but somehow probably cos i know i'm not that best prepared for it yet so it's kinda like a it's "here n gone before u even know it" kinda feeling.
End of As probably just meant a new phase of life for me. The time to do whatever i've always wanted to do but couldn't due to sch n exams, until my enlistment on 8th Jan. Somehow the things to do has already accumulated to such a long list even as my exams have just ended. Can't really figure out wat exactly to do first, but chalet's comin up right tmr (or maybe just later since it's over 12 mid already). Oh wells, no complaints since it's time for vacation:) All the best everybody, take care, cos Charlie's back Yo!=)
Why? Why did this have to happen? I know it's partially my fault, but I just need some time to accept it. Probably this has been the basis of many of ur actions n complaints. But... did u know my impression of u has somehow changed alittle? I dunno if i can still trust u, even as i do not know if u trust me too. Somehow, this relationship has evolved into another dilemma. To carry on or not, the same way or not.. I dunno.. Even at this very moment, I'm not sure if we'll still work out the way we used to be. Somehow, I still feel that u're still hidin somethings from me, even as u're haunted by the ghosts of ur past. Probably I'm undeserving of u, as i'm unable to fufill promises of happiness and love, or should I make this our umpteenth shot at it, which would probably face vulnerability soon, as we once again pick on superficial problems, without correct our innate fundamental ones. Indeed, I'm the greatest fool for I really do not know wat i've always thought i know/can do. I'm Sorry, for all that I am.
11/19/2008 12:45:00 AM
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
95 Days n counting down. Yes! i now officially have less than 95 days till my A's. Kinda unbelievable if u're actually able to feel it approachin u. In fact, it's kinda worryin and scary given my progress. No no, I'm not sayin i think i can't do it, but i know i got to buck up faster.
Hai.. dun really feel like bloggin about studies. It's a given that i have to do it, n so there isn't much to complain about.
There have been lots of things happening around us lately. Brazil comin to S'pore, Ren Ci getting into embezzlement scandals after NKF, n the Olympics loomin. I'm particularly looking forward to the Olympics since I'll probably get to see some of my favourite basketball players competin in it. However, It also means that exams r nearer once again...
Haha.. i guess studies really can't be out of my mind. It's after all, really my priority now. Been kinda impressed by lots of career n scholarship talks in my sch lately. Dun really know wat to choose yet, cos as the speaker said today, students today r spoilt for chioce, n i figured out, since this it so, why not take my time on it? Haha.. probably i'm kinda jumping the gun by sayin so cos i haven't even achieved my ideal grades, or even decent grades yet.. But i'm kinda considerin Arts sub or probably courses like psychology or wat. can't decide totally cos somewhere in my mind, i'm also thinkin of law even though my results sucks now. haha..
I've had a realisatin lately too.. I guess, this world is probably too complicated beyond our apprehension. Sometimes, U won't even know wat is goin on.. It makes u feel terrible n difficult, but somehow, things just dun become any better. Maybe it's cos curiosity kills the cat, or maybe it's just cos humans r overly particular with the discovery of the truth. Some way or another, inter-personal relationships r this way too. U wouldn't know wat's goin on sometimes. this is why perhaps ppl should be more frank with one another abt their feelings.. How good it is if everyone tells the truth.. but then again, how bad? Haha.. we al have to acknowledge that this world will never be perfect cos it'll always have imperfections. The way is to keep everything simple perhaps, by just havin simple n pure thoughts (critical thinkin???). But well, it doesn't mean others would behave this way just cos u will. Hai oh hai.. wat the world I'm living in ( i know this might not make sense, but then again, wat's sense?)
gtg. pardon my gibberish. feel an urge to come here n just talk gibberish (of course i type it out lah.. literally talk lah... )
7/29/2008 10:08:00 PM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Haha.. I know i promised to write some stuff here.. or maybe sms it to u.. but after all.. i think i won't want to repeat the whole cycle in my mind again, cos the point is to start all over again on a fresh sheet isn't it? Haha.. Anyway, if u really do want to know, i only have these words from Jay Chou's 彩虹 for u:
