My Life, my Rules

2012-02-11T15:20:00.001+08:00

I'm forcin myself to leave, all because i'm finding myself loving u too much once again.. Amidst all the imperfection u have made urself to be, u're still the perfect one in my heart..

2012-01-29T18:39:00.002+08:00

放空自己，追寻梦想。。

It is really ironic in life. Somehow it does feel better to me now.. It really feels like a happy day to me in a really long time.. Especially since the day u went away. It's not if I don't feel anything for u anymore. It's just cos I've decided to let go. To give space. To give up all that unhappiness in me..

It's time to give myself love, and be happy. And yea, Today's a great start.

2012-01-12T23:45:00.001+08:00

No one else deserves my love more than *YOU*..

2012-01-06T22:29:00.002+08:00

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work,

we didn't break,

we didn't burn

We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up

I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

2012-01-06T19:53:00.001+08:00

It feels so good to be able to forgove someone.. Especially if u know u have overcome all the animosity with ur love. Perhaps it's god's way of showin love exists..

2012-01-06T01:09:00.001+08:00

有时，我可能太高估了自己的坚强。。

2011-12-19T19:59:00.001+08:00

原来这世界点点滴滴已全都是妳。。。

2011-12-19T03:38:00.001+08:00

I really have to bury this feelin inside my heart.. I'm not supposed to feel this way anymore am i?

I miss u...

2011-12-18T23:16:00.001+08:00

I still believe we can make a difference tgt.. If only we're willin to give it one more try..

2009-03-16T13:44:00.002+08:00

致亲友：
试想曾经经历过的一切，
我们共同创造过的美好回忆，
我想是我们这一生必定难忘的岁月。
对于如今所发生的一切，
我承认我非常地舍不得。

然而，
我知道在你的心目中，
“我们”已经是不可能的事了，
我也明白这打算是为了我们的好，

但是，
心里的挣扎真令人心寒。
也许，
时间真能改变一切。
也许有一天，
我们甚至会在机缘巧合下碰面，
但因为时间，
而不再承认彼此的存在了。

尽管如此，
我依然深信缘份的存在，
相信上天的安排。。。

To My Dearest Friend,
I wish us all the best upon our future endeavours,
For I believe,
We'll meet again,
Sometime,
Someday,
Somewhere,
Along our life journey.
I wish upon u,
my love,
My Dearest Friend.

2009-01-03T04:08:00.003+08:00

Hai.. There's only ard 5 more days till enlistment. Scared? no. Nervous? Probably. But i'm definitely feelin kinda nostalgic about it. Sorta like there's lots of stuff i haven't done, or regret not doin, but somehow i dun have much time left to do it.

It's kinda like the feelin that u wanna set urself to doin something, but somehow u know u won't have the time to complete it all. In the end, u probably end up doin nothing, n feelin even more shitty that u haven't done wat u should have done. Probably that's really wat i should do, just stayin at home n doin nothing, n just enjoy the feelin of family, or homeliness. Somehow, I already know i'll miss home, i'll miss my frens, n I'll miss *HER*, but then there's no way i can pre-empt or prevent any of such stuff from comin, cos NS is not something I can control or escape. Of course ppl would be sayin "Aiya. time will pass quickly lah", "It's ok one. It's part and parcel of life", "U can still call n sms wat"... etc. Probably, some would even call me weak, useless or a wimp for bein so afraid of NS or wat, but i'll like to emphasize that i'm not one bit afraid of it. Actually, i was even kinda lookin forward to it a month or probably 2 or 3 weeks ago. Oh wells, i guess this is just me as usual, always good at feelin nostalgic n stuff.

I dunno why, but i've been thinkin alot about my life recently. From pri sch till now, I haven't really thought about my future, my life.. Yea, of course kids always sorta had some ambitions they wanted when they were young: I wanted to be a X-men. Haha.. alright. I was kiddin on that one( not totally but I knew i would never be), mine was a combination of several occupations. I visioned myself workin with ppl, enforcin the law, curin ppl, takin up courtcases, teachin kids, n probably somewhere even a NBA player (this i still try to entertain my self-denial n fantasy by creatin myself on NBA 2k9 or live 09 with perfect ratings. HAHA). Heck man, those were the times that u could dream all day, and the sky still wouldn't fall on u. Of course the sky still doesn't drop today ( I meant the formal in a literal manner, but i still believe the sky would never fall..), but reality seems to creep up on me, day by day, hour by hour. In fact, some of my peers have experienced such stuff tryin to look for jobs before the results r out, while i'm lucky to be enlistin earlier n need not fret about slackin or no-pay days, but wat i'm thinkin is long-term.. My exams were over, n somehow(in fact totally) I feel i could have done much better. No use cryin over spilt milk, but i'm just hopin that probably i could just get into a course i enjoy so that I could set a target for myself in the long-term. From time to time, I envision myself an intellect, a scholar, in the future, but somehow i know i probably won't be. The gist of all my worries generally just lies with the fact that i'm not confident about my results.. I dunno where i'll end up, but somehow i've made the worst decisions in my mind. The impt thing is not failure, but learnin how to deal with it. Somehow i've made up my mind not to give myself any shortcuts or any easy way out if i've any opportunities. Singapore, of course is a land of opportunities, but the essence still lies in how one can use the given scarce resources most effectively to achieve the swiftest n best results. I've not used mine well, n somehow i'm just waitin for judgement day to come. In retrospect, perhaps i haven't spent my whole hols in vain, for i've picked up some impt lessons in life, to not waste n squander away precious resources-time anymore..

Hai.. Finished with "exam results" phobia, I'm just thinkin recently that i probably dun understand myself. Perhaps, this is why, sometimes i just have no explanations for my own actions. I know i've hurt ppl through some of my actions, I know it's unintentional, cos even i have no reasons or excuses for myself. Deep down, i even blame myself for all the shit i've done. Well, some would say nobody is perfect, or that nobody will always do things right. One thing is for sure now, that is i'm not nobody because i haven't seen any perfect in me. However, i've decided in me, that i'm goin to embark on this life-changin journey, that is i'm goin to change myself, by instillin certain disciplines on myself. No person can live without principles. So do i. With that, My new year resolution for 2009 would be to abide by my new principles and become a better person (dun ask me wat it is because it's just for myself). Oh wells, i've felt better after typin this post. Gonna end here.. All the Best everybody, and wish myself Good Luck for NS! =)

P.S. To Liyuan: I'm sorry for disappointin u once again. I'm really such a sorry jerk. I know I suck, and I'm really sorry. That's why I've decided to change. I hope u'll forgive me:(

2008-11-23T23:52:00.005+08:00

Oh.. I'm back. Had an abrupt exit yesterday cos had a real difficult time figurin out this blog skin esp the music part. In the end, i thought i settled it, only to realise that i cannot scroll for music side=.= Hai.. dun care already. if want to know wat songs there r just click on the forward or rewind button or wat. Afterall there's only like 7 songs.

Anyway, the song that i would like to specifically mention is the first one, "Everything" by Misia. Dun ask me who she is or wat, because i've only seen her once in her mtv for this song on mtv channel. Feel that this song is really nice. kinda emotional with a punch. Her voice is real good i think. Real powerful too. Alright, here's the lyrics from yahoo.com.cn.

1. 曲名：Everything 歌手：Misia 专辑：MISIA 星空之Live

Mmm......

すれ违う时の中で(在今生的时空中)
あなたと巡り会えた(与你偶然邂逅)
不思议ね (真是不可思议啊)
愿った奇迹が(期盼的奇迹)
こんなにも侧にあるなんて(真的实现了)

逢いたい思いのまま(时光却在无法相见中流逝)
逢えない时间だけが
过ぎてく扉すり拔けて(一直想见你)
また思い出して(脑海中尽是)
あの人と笑い合うあなたを(你和她的快乐影像)

爱しき人よ(心爱的人啊)
悲しませないで(不要再让我伤悲了)
泣き疲れて(曾经拥着泪水)
眠る夜もあるから(入眠的无数个夜晚)
过去を见ないで(不想再回首过去 )
见つめて私だけ(只想珍惜与你片刻相聚)

You're everything You're everything
あなたが思うより强く(我比你想像的更爱你)
优しい嘘なら要らない(我不要你温柔的谎言)
欲しいのはあなた(只求让我陪在你身边)
oh....yeah...

どれくらいの时间を(多长的时间)
永远と呼べるだろう(才叫永远)
果てしな(倘若是) 远い未来なら(永无止境的未来)
あなたと行きたい(我也愿意与你同行)
あなたと覗いてみたいその日を(我也愿意与你一起窥探岁岁月月)

爱しき人よ(心爱的人啊)
抱きしめていて( 请紧紧拥抱我)
いつものように(就像往常一样)
优しいときの中で( 我要沉浸在这温柔的时刻)
この手握って (握紧你的双手)
见つめて今だけを(只想珍惜与你的分秒相聚)
You're everything You're everything

あなたと离れてる场所でも(即使是在你离去且令我心碎的场景)
逢えばきっと许してしまうどんな夜でも(我都愿意与你重逢共度)

You're everything You're everything
あなたの梦见るほど强く(对你的思念蔓延到梦境)
爱せる力を勇气に(只好让爱与勇气)今かえていこう(伴我前行)
oh....
You're my everything

You're everything You're everything
あなたと离れてる场所でも(即使是在你离去且令我心碎的场景)
逢えばいつも(与你片刻相见)
消え去っていく胸の痛みも( 都会抚平我胸口的痛楚)
You're Everything, You're Everything

あなたが思うより强く(我比你想像的更爱你)
やさしい嘘ならいらない(我不要你温柔的谎言)
ほしいのはあなた(只求让我陪在你身边)
You're everything You're everything
You're everything My everything

Hmm.. the first time i listened to this song, i'm really kinda attracted n touched by it. It gives me a kinda feelin that's like if i ever have of anyone, I'll marry that person immediately. Haha.. but prob I'm still quite a distance and age from that topic.. wouldn't understand wat marriage is yet wouldn't i? Haha.. alright. here's the mtv from youtube..

Actually.. I really hope that i can have the kinda feelin i mentioned above for u... But.. i dunno.. maybe time will tell everything.. maybe time will help everything work out. or maybe.... time will destroy everything we have now.. but no matter wat, time won't destroy our memories.. ever....

2008-11-23T02:10:00.000+08:00

Wow.. Finally completed a new skin. First time completed a blog ALL by MYSELF. Haha.. quite an achievement. Alright. kinda late so i'm goin to sleep. goodnight!=)

2008-11-19T00:45:00.002+08:00

Oh Wells.. A's r finally over.. It's supposed to be a day that i'm looking forward to (dun misunderstand.. I'm still glad it came), but somehow probably cos i know i'm not that best prepared for it yet so it's kinda like a it's "here n gone before u even know it" kinda feeling.

End of As probably just meant a new phase of life for me. The time to do whatever i've always wanted to do but couldn't due to sch n exams, until my enlistment on 8th Jan. Somehow the things to do has already accumulated to such a long list even as my exams have just ended. Can't really figure out wat exactly to do first, but chalet's comin up right tmr (or maybe just later since it's over 12 mid already). Oh wells, no complaints since it's time for vacation:) All the best everybody, take care, cos Charlie's back Yo!=)

Why? Why did this have to happen? I know it's partially my fault, but I just need some time to accept it. Probably this has been the basis of many of ur actions n complaints. But... did u know my impression of u has somehow changed alittle? I dunno if i can still trust u, even as i do not know if u trust me too. Somehow, this relationship has evolved into another dilemma. To carry on or not, the same way or not.. I dunno.. Even at this very moment, I'm not sure if we'll still work out the way we used to be. Somehow, I still feel that u're still hidin somethings from me, even as u're haunted by the ghosts of ur past. Probably I'm undeserving of u, as i'm unable to fufill promises of happiness and love, or should I make this our umpteenth shot at it, which would probably face vulnerability soon, as we once again pick on superficial problems, without correct our innate fundamental ones. Indeed, I'm the greatest fool for I really do not know wat i've always thought i know/can do. I'm Sorry, for all that I am.

2008-07-29T22:08:00.002+08:00

95 Days n counting down. Yes! i now officially have less than 95 days till my A's. Kinda unbelievable if u're actually able to feel it approachin u. In fact, it's kinda worryin and scary given my progress. No no, I'm not sayin i think i can't do it, but i know i got to buck up faster.

Hai.. dun really feel like bloggin about studies. It's a given that i have to do it, n so there isn't much to complain about.

There have been lots of things happening around us lately. Brazil comin to S'pore, Ren Ci getting into embezzlement scandals after NKF, n the Olympics loomin. I'm particularly looking forward to the Olympics since I'll probably get to see some of my favourite basketball players competin in it. However, It also means that exams r nearer once again...

Haha.. i guess studies really can't be out of my mind. It's after all, really my priority now. Been kinda impressed by lots of career n scholarship talks in my sch lately. Dun really know wat to choose yet, cos as the speaker said today, students today r spoilt for chioce, n i figured out, since this it so, why not take my time on it? Haha.. probably i'm kinda jumping the gun by sayin so cos i haven't even achieved my ideal grades, or even decent grades yet.. But i'm kinda considerin Arts sub or probably courses like psychology or wat. can't decide totally cos somewhere in my mind, i'm also thinkin of law even though my results sucks now. haha..

I've had a realisatin lately too.. I guess, this world is probably too complicated beyond our apprehension. Sometimes, U won't even know wat is goin on.. It makes u feel terrible n difficult, but somehow, things just dun become any better. Maybe it's cos curiosity kills the cat, or maybe it's just cos humans r overly particular with the discovery of the truth. Some way or another, inter-personal relationships r this way too. U wouldn't know wat's goin on sometimes. this is why perhaps ppl should be more frank with one another abt their feelings.. How good it is if everyone tells the truth.. but then again, how bad? Haha.. we al have to acknowledge that this world will never be perfect cos it'll always have imperfections. The way is to keep everything simple perhaps, by just havin simple n pure thoughts (critical thinkin???). But well, it doesn't mean others would behave this way just cos u will. Hai oh hai.. wat the world I'm living in ( i know this might not make sense, but then again, wat's sense?)

gtg. pardon my gibberish. feel an urge to come here n just talk gibberish (of course i type it out lah.. literally talk lah... )

2008-05-20T00:11:00.006+08:00

Haha.. I know i promised to write some stuff here.. or maybe sms it to u.. but after all.. i think i won't want to repeat the whole cycle in my mind again, cos the point is to start all over again on a fresh sheet isn't it? Haha.. Anyway, if u really do want to know, i only have these words from Jay Chou's 彩虹 for u:

妳要离开，

我知道很简单。

你说依赖，

是我们的阻碍。

就算放开，

但能不能别没收我的爱，

当作我最后才明白。

-你的存在，已是我生命的依赖。看不见你的笑，是我必定的遗憾。你的离开，不一定是我的无奈，而是我一而再，再而三的忽略，但庆幸这一些机会，还能够让我再挽回，这一段已渐渐腐蚀的感情。

I Love U!

Over?

2008-05-14T20:03:00.002+08:00

Phew.. problems seems to be aplenty this week. Just the first 2 days n i sort of find myself suffocating.. seriously out of breath.. many thoughts, but seems like no words or languge can express wat i feel or think.. i choose to think that life should be simple n not this way.. is this escapism? I dunno.. but at least things seems to have come to a solution already. Hope that this will work out and not repeat the whole cycle again cos i'm just too tired for it anymore.

These things aside, work is buildin up!!! AH!!! ABCDE camp is approachin n some how i'm really feelin the pressure buildin up. maybe i shouldn't have signed up for it, but now that i have, it's kinda late to complain about it.. Gotta pia n work for it. It'll be over in 2 weeks time!

-Things will get better in time.. I choose to believe it..

Better In Time

2008-05-12T23:03:00.004+08:00

"Better In Time"

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remaind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

-It'll all get better in time.. I'm sure it will.. Let's just hang in there..

New Post?

2008-04-20T00:24:00.008+08:00

Hi all.. It's been a long long time since my last entry.. dunno if i was busy or wat, but time always seems to just slip by all the time, n we al have to realise that we can't really hold on to time.. haha.. maybe it's just a reason for not bloggin for so long, but it's just not possible to go back now is it? so accept it.. haha..

Hmm.. actually there's not really any reason for me bloggin now.. no particular reason.. just though since i haven't been her for a long time so just come here n type some random thoughts.. anyway i dun think anybody will read my blog anyway. haha.. nobody tags so i won't know:) Alright.. it's just a message for everyone to tag (hey.. i dun mind ppl scoldin me lah.. at least it's not quiet.. haha.. )

Anyway i sort of think i'm goin back to my philosopical self.. think i sort of lost myself since i came to jc.. lost some aspects of that charlie in sec sch.. but ppl do change over time i guess.. even myself.. in a way, i think i dun really understand myself sometimes.. maybe life is so busy now that i dun have time to myself to think n reflect n understand myself? Maybe..

Actually, life's pretty much routine-like n the same in AJ since sch's like pretty much the same......... If only it's true... Somehow, changes do occur, n my perception n views changes over time.. people relations too.. sometimes i wonder ( like now?) if it's cos m vision is blurred now.. somehow i've lost that smart n clear feelin that i had in the past, like i used to be one that is sure n certain of things, to one that is sort of unsure.. in a way i think i can't even speak as well as i did.. haha..

Anyway i now dun really know wat i'm typin here.. just a random post then i guess.. haha.. maybe i'll update more often now.. or maybe it's just another few months again? haha.. Anyway NBA playoffs startin tmr.. hope Boston gets their champion this year with their big 3 (even though i kinda like the Suns n the Lakers (not really Kobe)) not really in the mood to blog bout NBA happenings now.. haha.. go http://www.nba.com/ to find out more i guess.. haha..

Alright.. guess this will be the end of post this time.. call me or wat if u guys really want to know how i m now after the last post.. To end off i'll put up some pics here..

My Beautiful Egg =)

Another view of the egg

The Guys' eggs

My Sis, Cousins n i durin Chinese New year

That's all guys! Take Care:)

2007-10-29T23:00:00.000+08:00

Hi all! learnt to update my blog faster din i? Haha... dunno why but just felt that there's just so much i want o say, but just can't find the right ppl to say.. or maybe the appropriate ppl to talk to...

In the past there'll be ppl like LG n WT around to listen to my crap n rubbish, sometimes we'll even talk about ppl( I know it's bad to talk behind ppl's backs but it's human nature) n stuff.. maybe i was too used to them bein around me, or maybe i just took them for granted, but i realised that now, their presence around me is not something as common as before..

I think back to the past, when we split up into different schs, when we told one another that friendship can be maintained if it is strong enough... Today, i'm not sure how they think about the friendship anymore... Maybe it's because i always grow too attached to things around me, or maybe i just haven't learnt to let go, or to accept the fact totally...

I understand the reality that bein held back by a year would lead to several other consequences.. i thought i convinced myself of it.. but convincin n acceptin is different.. It's like suddenly, i realise that all my friends r leavin, and i'm thrown into a familiar yet strange n foreign environment. Yes! i made new friends.. but how r new friends as compared to old friends who have been through much more.. maybe my definition is badly defined, i'm not sure..

I'm not blamin anybody for how i'm feelin, but it's just a dilemna i face against myself.. I now realised that the consequences of retension is far more than wat i thought, or had initially prepared myself..

In front of ppl i put up a cheerful front, like i'm so carefree and enjoyin myself, but who would know that wat i would long to have would be to toil n work my guts out along with all u guys.. Some ppl think i have it easy, but who would understand the pain of havin to pay for it with a year?

As the promos ends this year, i see ppl facin up to the reality of their actions.. some ppl r happy... some aren't.. some, i just feel sad for them.. but for myself, i just feel consoled, fortunate, that i've escaped this catasthrope that had almost claimed me.. Once again, i see many ppl who were like me.. preparin to be retained.. some were more fortunate with a retest, but some were just forced to embark on an option they had never considered before.. "U reap wat u sow", some ppl would tell me, and perhaps i would agree, but deep down, i just felt that sometimes reality is too cruel on ppl..

For many ppl, tmr is an important day, and i wish them all the best.. However, wat i think is the most important thing is to learn to face failure.. Only when u face failure, and stand up bravely to it, will u grow n emerge a stronger person. I hope all of them would not give up even when they encounter difficult papers, but face up to challenges bravely.. for myself, i failed once.. i wouldn't say i overcomed it totally, but at least i faced up to it.. i dunno why, but i got a feelin my past shadows r catchin up with me, and i'm thinkin of those days i tried so hard to forget again.. but i'm persevere on. All the Best to all in facin the challenges in their lives!

A long-awaited victory

2007-10-16T21:51:00.000+08:00

1 year ago, i faced the one of the biggest setback of my life.. some might say that it is just something minor, but to me, it was the biggest slap on my face.. It was a wakeup call for me... Not that i learnt and became some hardworkin mugger-tard or wat, but i started doin my work seriously n stuff life that.. Though i admit i wasn't the Charlie in sec sch, but i was improvin...

Today, 1 year later... i faced the same challenge again... wat is the fate awaitin me? Wat will await me the moment the worst sets in? Do i still have a future in this sch?

A victory that once seemed so important to me.. A victory that is all the more of greater importance now... I'm glad to annouce that it has come!! I'm Promoted!!!

Though my results this time aren't that good, but at least i made it.. 2H2 2 H1, not one less, not one more... kinda ashamed that i'm still achievin such results after one year, but who cares:P I'm promoted.. but once bitten, twice shy.. I dun want to face such rejection or the verge of such extradition again! I must start workin hard... I mustn't let this long awaited victory go to waste! All the way Charlie!!!

世上无难事，只怕有心人。留着青山在，不怕没柴烧。With opportunity presents hope...

Secret

2007-09-06T00:25:00.000+08:00

Haha.. watched this movie today... thought it might not be that good or wat, but it turns out that it is in fact a great movie! Quite touched by it... A really great piece of work by Jay Chou, considerin it his debut directorial attempt n such... Though it has been out for quite awhile, but i'm glad i din miss it...haha..

The show kind of rekindled my interest in piano.. been interested since young, but my parents din want to let me learn, citin reasons such as i might give up half way or wat... Come one, my elder bro givin up doesn't mean i'll give up either... perhaps this is wat they call once bitten twice shy, n i'm the one at the losin end.. but nvm.. it's already been so many years.. but i'll still try to learn piano if given a chance.. haha...

Somehow, the show reminded me of CO too.. been awhile since i left.. as i said to LG, i haven't looked back since i left.. somehow, the feelin of CO now feels kind of familiar, yet foreign... perhaps i'm now in a paradox with CO... haha.. Charlie's CO paradox... kind of funny... missin CO alittle, but then again couldn't imagine life in CO now if i'm still in it, n i won't.. why think about something that i was so determined to leave... cherishin the present is the most important.. i think it's cos CO left such a great music impression in me, that whenever i thought of music, i thought of CO...

Hmm.. thinkin of music, i think i'm kind of pathetic... i can't really play any music at home, n i can't compose my own songs... even though sometimes i claim to know or like understand music, but then i can't even associate myself fully with music.. maybe that is why i'm not a musician yet..haha... but actually, come to think of it, i dun even aim to be one at all.. haha.. kinda contradictin...

OK.. shall end here... Secret is really quite a good movie... left me quite emo... showed that love transcends beyond time n dimension... Spread Love, not war:P

2007-08-26T03:24:00.000+08:00

Yo Everybody! Been such a long time since i last blogged... can't really believe it... time really flies... just seems like yesterday when i felt life... dunno why as i grow older, it just seems like i get more philosphical... maybe that's wat ppl call maturing... But quite bad that ppl around just dun understand me or believe me when i really get philosphical... i mean, i really mean it... but they just take it as jokes... maybe i should learn to get serious...

Hai... realise that i'm more n more out of touch with myself, as in i realise after 18 years of my life, that i dun really understand myself at all... Maybe this is part of growin up, sometimes u believe in certain principles n stuff, but along the way u realise that it is hard to hold on to them, then u just abandon them altogether, while u adapt some others... I think those that r able to hold onto their own principles all the way r those that are the ones that are to be respected because they have the strongest character... Perhaps it is time i adapt my own beliefs...

Hmm... just typin some of my random thoughts... dun really know wat i'm thinkin nowadays... maybe i've learnt to take things easier... well, at least i'm still set on my priorities: Studies, basketball... found something in basketball that i din have in CO... need to learn faster in basketball n improve faster to get into team, if not even if i do get in by luck, i won't help them achieve much either... haha.. really love basketball.. slowly feelin myself improvin... maybe this is the difference with playin on my own n joinin the CCA.. only thing i regret was not joinin it earlier in sec sch if not i'll be much stronger now... but life is a matter of choice, and i din regret joinin CO, because even many ppl dun understand it n stuff like that, i really respect CO, and i'm glad i've learnt lots from it... Learnt that music is not something everybody understand... ppl can enjoy music, but how many can feel it, and go beyond the "wow.. this song is nice" stage, and listen beyond just the tunes alone, but also the musician's feelings, how it appeals to u n feel it, and how u can apply the feelin to ur music too... In a way, music helps understand urself too... Realised CO dun only let u learn chinese music, it helps me understand chinese culture better, as well as gain the ability to understand other forms of music like symphonic band's as well as other types of music... It somehow makes me sensitive to music too... this could be bad cos when i hear music that i think is not that good, i'll be especially agitated, and it somehow offends some ppl i guess...

Anyway there're too much to say here, but i dun think i'll want to say more... perhaps if anybody want to know more can just talk to me...

There's quite a nice song that i came about recently... Not sure if others feel it is nice, but it appeals to me emotionally... maybe cos i'm changin.. improvin myself.. this song is 王力宏's 改变自己...
can hear it from the new song of my blog... anyway here's the lyrics:

专辑:改变自己

王力宏-改变自己

COME ON

今早起床了

看镜子里的我

忽然发现我发型

睡的有点KUSO

一点点改变

有很大的差别

你我的力量

也能改变世界

3 Doors Down - Here Without You

2007-03-04T18:36:00.000+08:00

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

-U leave me here without u... But u're still with me in my dreams... hurtin me... but.. I still love u...

2006-12-07T16:15:00.000+08:00

liyuan is here to invade charlie's blog again because he never update.
charlie where have u gone?????????

12 oct 2006

char char went to cango to meet his childhood best friends. and that is, the sliver back gorillas. they hav been friends since they were kindergarden and because charlie isn't smart enough to be studying in the cango sliver back kindergarden, he has been sent to the tiny little dot in asian because this modern and advance island got a special treatment to his behaviour disorder. char char miss his best friends and the times they had together climbing trees and grooming each other. char char love to groom poopoo because the fleas on his body taste the best. In his eager to see his best friends and also get the taste of the lovely fleas on poopoo's body again, char char spent all his saving of $158.95 on a bike and a map, heading towards cango. will char char reach cango?? or could the unpredictable weather killed his will in search for his friends??? remember to catch the next episode of Char Char Adventure..

LAME.

hahahahaha. charlie is a childish kid.

2006-09-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hi all once again.. It has definitely been a long time since my previoous entry..haha.. i've been busy all this while, so even though i've lots to say, other commitments somehow just cause me to lose all my interest.haha.. Well, life as a JC student is tough n busy, n no matter how long u work, there just seems to be more n more work.. hardly find time to rest, wat's more blog..haha..

But it's not an excuse, i know..haha.. that's why i'm here now, in front of the com even though i know i should be with my books and studyin intensively..Hmm.. all my expectations, my hopes- I cannot let myself down again.. it's unfair to myself..haha.. in case u guys out there are all wonderin, it's just simply because of my promos lah..haha.. first time in my life i'm feelin so stressed.. actually, i dun even know i feel stress before..haha..hmm.. actually it's not really stress.. it's just worry, and a little of nervousness.. worry: I can't perform up to my expectations? I've wasted to much time on things that are not my priorities.. I admit.. I haven't been a consistent worker, and this has proven to be detrimental to my studies..haha.. somehow this feelin that u can do it, and in fact, more than capable of it, but not achievin it just makes me feel weak..haha..

Anyway i'm not here today to complain about myself? haha.. just want to update my blog alittle and express some of my thoughts.. hmm.. it's already september already.. Wake me up when september ends? haha.. feels so weird.. time really passes so fast.. it just feels like a few days ago when i was takin my o'levels.. now it's already close to the end of my J1 life.. Half of my JC life is almost gone..haha.. Hmm.. I've been doin lots of thinkin this past few weeks.. thinkin about my life.. My pri sch life, sec sch life, then now.. Jc life.. somehow i'm havin a feelin that my life in sch is almost endin already.. n it just feels a little nostalgic about this thought.. haha.. I feel that i've changed ever since i entered JC.. i dislike this me now, but it's not easy to revert back..haha.. probably because of my environment which doesn't let me.. I've developed certain doubts about humanity..hmm.. somehow, it's like the older we get, there just seems to be more of those ppl whom u dunno wat they have up their sleeves.. I feel that i've been more matured in sec sch..haha.. Probably because i'll prefer livin in the past when all things have been simpler.. I dun understand why things that have felt so different to me in the past feels this way now.. i would prefer those of the past..

Hmm.. perhaps i should do lesser of those thinkin and get back to my books..haha.. just to give everyone an update on my life.. so many things have happened..haha.. I'm now a house captain, engaged in so many activities n stuff.. somehow, the 1st 3 months has ended quite awhile ago, however, it just seems like yesterday only.. I've settled in the sch i'm in now, but somehow there's still this part of me which still can't let go..haha.. suddenly found those first 3 months econs notes, of which the lectures i din get to attend, but i've wrote my class already, and somehow it just reminds me of my 1st 3 months..haha.. i dunno why i just felt that i miss that class so much.. haha.. felt so nostalgic.. then the next mornin, something weird happened.. I woke up and looked into my watch, which read 6:11... haha..

Alright guys.. i got to get back to my books already.. Bye guys.. till next time..

2006-07-04T20:45:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Today is a special day but i'm lookin forward especially to thurs... haha.. this is because tues is my long day in sch, with lessons until a unreasonable 6 +++ pm... hmm.. actually it's alright lah...haha...self-contradictory, but true because it always gives me a sense of satisfaction to make it through the tiring day..haha... However, this is not why it's special..this is because, today, 4th july, is the eve of my birthday...haha... sad to say, it won't be a hol tmr, but rather, thurs is a holiday for me because it's in lieu of the general elections that took place like dunno how many months ago...haha... It's werid isn't it, i can recall the farewell assembly i had on 14 oct last year, but i recall nothing about the general elections that took place a few months before, except for some of the James Gomez n Chee Soon Juan incidents... Hmm... won't want to swell much on them, because i believe it's all their job to do wat they are doin, whether morally correct or not, i won't know, nor do i have the right to perceive them because i know onthing about them...haha... weird.. why m i talkin about this? Haha...

Anyway i'm really disappointed today because i failed my chemistry n maths mid-year exams.. got to know my results today, and honestly, i'm really unhappy with them, but it's not unexpected since i din really put in any hard work...haha... but i'm not gonna give up, i'll change and persevere... consistent work is important, and trust me, today i'm goin to start, doin my work everyday, little by little until one day i perform up to what i should at least perform... Haha...

Anyway dun let this news spoil my mood..haha.. i'm still ever so cheerful...haha... hopin for thurs, an opportunity to rest and mug:P Happy muggin guys, this is the JC life that the government and school is giving us, n whether we like it or not, we should not give up... remember wat our priorities are and our goals... Hmm... havin a weird idea recently.. maybe i should take a break? Maybe it'll do our studies more good? I dunno.. but i won't give up just yet... I'm made for much greater things and i won't let myself be defeated. I'll change for the better:P

Life is sophisticated somehow keep wondering how my life would be at the end of the road...haha... a person at the beginning of the road thinkin about the end...haha... how would i be like? wat type of l;ife would i have? Haha...perhaps i'm thinkin too much.. I'm 17 tomorrow.. time to mature, but m i still childish? Maybe it's just people that dun understand me, but maybe i dun behave accordin to wat i think... I'm an adult? M i? m i already? Haha.. i dunno, but somehow sometimes we have to grow up, whether we like it or not...haha.. i sound like something serious happened to me... something did.. My 17th birthday is here... like wat Mrs Low said in lecture today, there is no more 4th july tues econs lecture ever again once u step out of the audi later... There's no more 5 July, weds, my 17th birthday again once the day is over, but there's still the 18th, 19th n the rest of the birthdays to come...

Wat m i thinkin?!?!?!:P

2006-07-03T01:03:00.000+08:00

Haha... I know i forgot to announce in my previous blog entry that I've changed my blog skin:P This was done by my dearest:P haha... Thanks for this new skin!! This skin rox:P It looks cute:P Not to mention the cute cartoons at the profile!!! Haha... nites everyone:P

My Birthday

2006-07-03T00:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. i know the title sounds wierd because all those of u who know me will know that my birthday lies on 5 july, so i'm clearly bloggin before my birthday...haha... but my friends decided to treat me to Jack's Place at Compass point today... haha... on top of that, i receive a red converse water bottle as well...haha... just in time cos i just lost my bottle not long ago...haha...

Firstly, i would like to apologise to all those who turn up today, Taurus, Jun Wei, Justin, Alvin, Wen Tao, Lan Guan, and last but not definitely least, the most important (SELF-PROCLAIMED) Wilson Tay aka Koko Krunch...haha...This is because I'm late once again!!( Haha...Wilson n Alvin, I blogged before u all... i check le... i admit so u all cannot say anything more...haha...) I'm sorry.. cos i had to make sure *SHE* gets home first wat...haha... but i really appreciate u all.. cos i was so late but u all still waited for me.. i'll try n change...this is my birthday wish...haha... Anyway, i basically just enjoyed the dinner alot:P Haha...

As i din feel very good with them all treatin me, i treated them all to macs ice-cream:P haha... Though this is just a simple dinner, it holds lots of special meanin for me, because this is the first time that a group of friends treated me to dinner... It was not the dinner, but rather the company that i enjoyed alot..thanks for these unforgettable memories:P

However, there some of those that couldn't make it:( *HER*, Zigui, Chen Yan etc... Haha... know somebody would notice his name missin...haha... i won't miss u out de...haha... QQ!! Haha.. Though u couldn't make it, ur sms really meant alot to me...thanks for ur wishin:P Though i had dinner with the rest, somehow it was the sms that really made my day...haha...:P

Haha... I've had a great time before my birthday...hope this year would really be a good year for me:P I'm goin to be seventeen soon!!! HAHA!! WHEE!!! haha... wish me happy birthday... Love all of u lots:P( Ok... I love u most ok? My Family, Dad n Mom n siblings:P Haha...not forgettin *HER*)

2006-06-20T01:51:00.000+08:00

"Photograph"

Look at this photograph

Everytime I do it makes me laugh

How did our eyes get so red

And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up

I think the present owner fixed it up

I never knew we'd ever went without

The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school

Most of the time had better things to do

Criminal record says I broke in twice

I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if It's too late

Should i go back and try to graduate

Life's better now then it was back then

If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh oh oh

Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It's hard to say it,

time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say it,

time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

Remember the old arcade

Blew every dollar that we ever made

The cops hated us hangin' out

They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio

And sing along with every song we know

We said someday we'd find out how it feels

To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed

I was so nervous that I nearly missed

She's had a couple of kids since then

I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh oh oh

Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It's hard to say it,

time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say it,

time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town

I miss the faces

You can't erase

You can't replace it

I miss it now

I can't believe it

So hard to stay

Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days

I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It's hard to say it,

time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say it,

time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph

Everytime I do it makes me laugh

Everytime I do it makes me

Here's the lyrics for the song "Photograph" by the Nickleback.. haha... i'm suppose to explain the significance of this song in thhis post...but hey! this is my blog... i shouldn't blog for the purpose of others right? haha... crap..

For my Cat High friends i'm sure u all r familiar with this song... haha... this is the song for our Grad Night...haha... well, this song brings lots of memories to me...haha... It reminds me of the memories in Cat High, as well as my first 3 months...haha... That photograph will remain with me, in my heart...haha... It's memories that cannot be erased, memories that cannot be replaced...haha... 1702, 2703, 3204, 4205, 06S11... Haha... can't believe i'm still thinkin about this at this point in time...but some memories cannot be erased...haha... Just like how some friends can never be forgotten...haha... This song brings with it the feelin of regrets as well, the things that we regret we have done in sch... actions that cannot be undone... haha.. it has elements of happiness, sadness, nostalgia n regrets...Enjoy! Photograph by Nickleback!!!

2006-06-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

Haha... i dunno why but just feel like bloggin now...actually felt like bloggin a few days ago already..but i still haven't blogged... dunno why...perhaps i'm really lazy...haha... Anyway i dun plan havin a long post this time round... this blog is just to inform everyone that i've changed my blog song... haha... perhaps many people dun know the significance of this song to me, but this song holds great importance to me... haha... I enjoy listenin to this song everytime, though i admit it does bring lots of nostalgia to me...haha...

Before i explain the significance, may i bring everyone back to sat...for the first time in my life, i'm a emcee... haha... I'm sure most of u must be shocked...haha... Charlie is the emcee??? haha... ya... I'm the emcee.. n not lettin u all down, i DID really did a bad job...haha... No rehearsal, no script, no preparation, i just went up n talk just like this... Even i can't believe it myself...haha... I kept thinkin to myself after the concert that i suck...haha.. but luckily i'm not one who is easily defeated...haha...I feel alright now, but thinkin back on all the crap that i said n the embarassment that i got myself into, haha.. it's definitely an experience that is not easily forgotten...haha.. but if i ever do get a chance to be emcee again( I dun think i will... haha...), i'll definitely improve n prove myself wrong, that i suck...haha...

Another thing that has been botherin me is that i still haven't completed my PW interview!!! ARGH!!! It's really botherin me.. with all the work piled up, n the fact hat sch's about to start, n the exams r all comin n fast approachin me, i'm not inthe least prepared.. AH!!! Somebody save me!! AH... feelin so stressed...haha.. tryin to calm myself down now...hope everything will turn out fine in the end....haha... it's all my fault... din plan my time well.. all the plans for the hols.. i din achieve even one of them...haha... but lost time can't be saved already..so i can only make do with all the time i have left...hai... hopin for a miracle...haha...

Guess i'll explain the significance in another post...haha... But i do have a good news...
SHE'S back!!! WHOO!!! WHEE!!! HAHA!!!

2006-06-11T18:11:00.000+08:00

Haha.. a long time since i last blogged... think more ppl is gettin to learn bout my blog already...haha... dunno if it's a good thing.. but i would hope that ppl won't ask so much bout things said on my blog... haha... but i won't be very angry lah..just that dun really like lor...aiya.. just forget bout wat i typed lah...

Anyway been havin some strange thoughts recently... perhaps i just realise some of the complexities of life.. actually i din realise ba... i still haven't understand them... haha... hmm... i dunno why ppl can be so hypocritical sometimes.. i'm not sayin i'm a wat totally true person... i do have some thoughts that i keep to myself, n i try to my best not to say anything... but i do admit that sometimes i'm really a hypocrite... actually just a way to maintain the normal life that we are all havin... u know, to maintain the peace? but then, we shouldn't like keep talkin bad behind other... if we think of ppl as friends, we shouldn't do such things... hai... another thing is that i've learnt how heartless ppl can be in life... maybe it's the best way to keep the rest from danger, or taht u feel that some ppl r a threat, n u have a job to protect the rest, but u shouldm't have did it so heartlessly...hai... actually i'm not sayin whoever is right or wrong... i dun even know wat i'm sayin, but somehow i sense something wierd happenin... hai... i'm an INFP leh.. I'm a protector of the earth!!! Haha...crap... but then again, life is complicated... If everybody just remain simple how good would that be... but i know that i'm just being naive... maybe i m, but i do hope to see these things happenin haha... After so many years of education, bein in a so-called civilisation, does this mean we should be more complex in our daily relations with ppl? HUMANS R WIERD!!!

Hmm.. perhaps i'm still stuck in my own world, but wat is the world outside there like? R all the ppl like this, or can there be a day when everyone can greet even strangers, and there's no hostilities between ppl, n no politics??? I'm just naive...

wahaha.. i hack into ur acc.. no la. i noe ur password so u better dun de zhui me.. haha.. wa dear u are so chim.. Lol. but i noe wat u are toking abt. haha! umm.. i feel that being a hypocrite is a human's nature. it s jus to wat extent u are. haha. guess human are just practicle and selfish at times. trying protect their own rights. some ppl do that by sacrifying others. those real smart ones do that in a win-win situation. Lol. but after all, wat we shall always remember are our values. they make us who we are and they can destroy us too. like those ppl who believe in sacrifying others to bring them their own benefits. they will be made use oneday. mmm.. actually i feel that it s way of living too ba.. haha. life is complicated. humans are weird!!! we will understand when we grow up. hehe. and it s good to be naive sometimes.. =)).
whoo..world cup.. nobody watch with me. so sian.. lol.. we've offline le.. guess i'll off my com now. it s late. wonder wat u are doing now.. view porn is it. everyday do e same thing nt sian arh.. haha.. jkjk. hehe.
u've got ur oreo and i'll got my milk. haha. oreo has milk. charlie has liyuan!! lol. childish. tink e reader goin to puke. i wonder how oreo and milk puke. haha. umm. milk wont puke.lol. mad. byebye charlie bear bear! goodnite! miss ya..<3>

2006-06-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Long time since i last blogged... not that i dun want to blog... it's just that it's either i dun have time or the com is not available... my dad hasn't brought my com for repairs... n now he suddenly brings out a bill that says that my com is still under warranty and asks me to call the person up for repairs... wasted so much of my time... should have just gave me the bill earlier... it feels bad to share a com with others... Firstly, u dun have privacy.. then, it's not everytime that u happen to be free when the com is available for your use..hai...

Just came back from Hwa Chong Institution (College Section) Chinese Concert... dun know wat to blog about so will talk alittle bout the concert ba... got quite a few seniors in HCCO, n they're all very impressive... all in the EXCO... haha... Actually HCI was my dream sch... too bad i din work hard enough... hai... lost my chances... haha..At least my life is still alright now... or i hope... Haha... Hmm... anyway i got a fren for 4 years who had been playin the instrument as me since sec 1 in cat high in HCI now... so i went for the concert partly to support him ba.. Jia You Qq!!!...

Hmm... regardin the concert, though the skills were indeed impressive but somehow felt that there was something lackin in the concert... the feelin just wasn't there... felt that the performers din really had the feelings in the songs... perhaps it was their choice of songs or wat ba... din gave me a feelin that they're definitely a gold with honours CO... but i can say for sure that they're better that NJC ba... but somehow, Music isn't something we can compare... it's bout the expression of music... haha... Music is more sophisticated than we all know it... n for all those out there who thinks that there's anything as perfect music, i'm sorry... nothing is perfect because music is only perfect if played by machines and technology, n if so, it would lack feelings and emotions... so it won't be perfect after all... I believe even in the lousiest CO, there would be something we can learn from, which is their feelings and emotions... There's no such thing as the best player or CO, but the best music comes from those that expresses their feelings best through music, and this feeling is something unique to everyone, hence it's not something that can be compared...Perhaps then i shouldn't criticise HCCO for their lacklustre performance?? Hey... i din really compare wat... wierd...i'm talkin to myself... I'm becomin like somebody else... oops... haha...

Anyway dun want to stay up too late,,, got to go... bye... till next time=P

-To Liyuan: Din blog bout u but just want to tell u... I LOVE U!!!

2006-05-14T02:18:00.000+08:00

Hmm... this time i would really like to apologise to everybody for not havin updated my blog for so long, especially to *HER* cos she has been waitin for so long, n i think no one feels as much anxiety as *HER* towards my blog...haha... actually, she's the one who helped me set up my blog... to have a child, n see it grow up healthy n well, that's a mother's greatest pride n happiness... guess that's how she feels towards my blog ba...haha... hmm... i haven't explained why i haven't been updatin my blog... my com has CRASHED!!! SIAN!!! haha...dunno wat happened to it... Actually, i'm now usin my bro's laptop to update my blog now... hmm... my dad says he will buy a new laptop dunno for me or my bro to use, then think he'll repair my com...dunno wat's the laptop for??? he said it's for my work, but think my bro will be the one usin it ba... haha...

Hmm... think a month has passed since the last time i blogged... think that i start my blog the same way everytime...actually, i think my blog is kindda boring right? haha... but think it's definitely not borin to *HER*...haha... hmm... still thinkin of ways to make my blog more interestin... but in the meantime, think i'll continue with my bloggin... hmm... think many things have changed since my last blog entry... hmm... actually everytime i update after a long period of time, i would always find it difficult to continue... but guess it's still something i have to do... haha... who asked me to delay my update for so long...

Hmm... think my life has more or less settled in my new JC... though from time to time i would still hope that time would go back, or that i would wake up n find myself in a dream, but i guess we all still have to return to reality... haha... just had my co concert yesterday... i din perform cos i just joined 2 weeks ago( not that i can't... i dun feel like it anyway...haha...) Hmm... dun really find any sense of attachment to AJCO... actually i feel that i'm still largely a part of NJCO...haha... attended their concert the day before... though i would admit that AJCO might be better, or that the location of their concert is better, i still enjoyed NJCO's concert the best... NJCO is where i still feel i'm home... though many things have changed about it, n that some of them have forgotten bout me, but then i still find a sense of warmth n belongin in it... wierd, but 's true...haha... however, AJCO's concert on fri has made me feel that there's some fun in it... hope that the feelin for AJCO would improve...hopin that i won't feel like quittin it... haha...

Hmm... bein troubled by lots of work... GPP, tests n stuff SPA's approachin too... Sian...haha... findin that i can't handle my work sometimes... Really hopin for a holiday... hmm... hope i won't do too badly for my tests, but not expectin too much... haha...

Hmm... i hurt my dear dear a few days ago...had some misunderstandings, but everything's ok now... except that her hammie has died...;( Hope she won't feel too sad bout it... it'll feel happy to have felt ur love... at least there'll be people rememberin it after it's death...

To Liyuan Dear dear: I'm so sorry dear dear for havin hurt u... dun feel so sad bout ur hammie... it has led a meaningful life, able to influence so many people... It has felt ur love, as well as ur care n concern... just like me... I love U...

2006-04-02T01:52:00.000+08:00

Haha... not so long from the previous time i updated right? I'm more enthusiastic in updating my blog now... haha... perhaps it's due to the fact that i'm havin more thoughts that i feel i need to express them out through a medium, which is my blog...haha... got to appreciate my blog cos somebody helped me to made it... ok lah... it's *HER*:P Haha.... Anyway, I've always been havin thoughts n feelins that i want to express on my blog in the past, just that i din have the time, or was too lazy to update... haha...

Anyway talk bout Fri first... I went to meet up with ppl from 06S11 after sch today... haha... felt so good to see so many of my friends.. was really a long time since i met them... but it's really a pity that i can't be in the same uniform as them... haha... we walked around orchard road's shoppin malls, think went to heeren, to find presents for the april babies... haha... after that went to NJ to watch their choir's concert in Lt5... haha.. to a certain extent,this was wat i've been lookin forward to cos it's a chance for me to go back to that familiar place again... However, to a certain extent, i really felt that i shouldn't have went for it... As i alighted the bus, the familiar environment greeted me once again after so long... It just somehow brings back those fond memories i had of the place... though it's fond memories, but somehow those places just gives me the feeling of nostalgia as I was there once again... As i entered the large sch compound, the familiar track n large sch crest imprinted at the top of the buildin overwhemled me as it always did in the past... It was this place that i fell so deeply in love with... It was this place that i established my atttachment to... but i was also this place that made me feel so sad n despondent for so many days because i could no longer stay there anymore... I met many friends, n saw many familiar ppl n other traits of the sch... seein my friends all in the uniform of the sch, i somehow felt left out... It was a strange feelin that's not that comfortable, but i'll have to live with it...Somehow, i really felt i shouldn't have went back because it just evoked my memories i had of the place once again, makin me feel nostalgic, n sad to a certain extent... It made me feel more like returnin to that place, the place that holds the memories so dear to me...

Sat: Had to wake up early today after havin a late night out on Fri... haha... enjoyed myself alot at NJ's choir concert though it brought back many other memories, happy n sad... anyway went to the old folk's home along jalan bukit merah today for CIP with yew tee cc chinese orchestra... feel so guilty cos i din really help much... came late so din perform, so basically just help to carry stuff n wat... haha... after that... it was just things that dun really need much elaboration.. haha...hmm.. except maybe for *HER*.. hmm... i've always known that u've been sayin this to me in ur heart... i know that though i've hurt u so many times, this words would always be in ur heart... However, i believe that words spoken always have a greater value... I know it might be difficult to say, but somehow it would always bring more feelings across when it's said... I dunno wat's wrong with me, but i hope that i woould always continue to say this to u... I love u...

2006-03-26T03:58:00.000+08:00

Lyrics for I honestly love you by Olivia Newton John:

Maybe I hang around here
A little more than I should
We both know I got somewhere else to go
But I got something to tell you
That I never thought I would
But I believe you really ought to know

I love you
I honestly love you

You don't have to answer
I see it in your eyes
Maybe it was better left unsaid
This is pure and simple
And you should realize
That it's coming from my heart and not my head

I love you
I honestly love you

I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable
I'm not trying to make you anything at all
But this feeling doesn't come along everyday
And you shouldn't blow the chance
When you've got the chance to say

I love you
I honestly love you

If we both were born
In another place and time
This moment might be ending in a kiss
But there you are with yours
And here I am with mine
So I guess we'll just be leaving it at this

I love you
I honestly love you
I honestly love you

To Liyuan: I love u... I honestly love u... Haha... 10 years:P Hope ur troubles r solved...

2006-03-26T03:22:00.000+08:00

Haha... not that long since the last time i blog right? haha... an improvement... actually i've always had this feelin in me to blog... To write down all that i'm feelin in my heart... however, guess i'm just quite lazy ba... haha.. but think when i really do start typin, there's just so much for me to say that i just keep on typin n typin, which explains my long blog entries... haha...

Hmm... for the previous week, i've started lessons at AJC already... though, i'll say it again, that AJC is not a sch that i'll ever want to go, not before, not even now, perhaps not even in the future, but i must say that i've not had a very tough time there... think life is improvin for me... guess it's because that feelin of waitin is no longer there... should have given up long ago n spared myself so much pain, but guessed i was just too attached to NJ, n that my love for the sch was just so great ba... haha... but nvm... guess i'm just not fated to be in the sch... haha... I've already bought the uniform for AJ. n had worn it for a week already, so just guess i have to devote myself to the sch already... though from now n then, when i see my fellow friends from NJ, to see them wearin the uniform, I'll feel bad, but then my feelin of attachment with the sch is slowly fadin away already... perhaps this feelin of attachment is shifted to *HER*... haha

Discovered many interestin things bout my new sch, such as our favourite hangout spot n stuff... learned that the sch is not really that bad as wat i thought... had some friends in sec sch with me in the same class, so think it's not that tough for me to blend with the class ba... however, there's still the other group of people in the class, so though my friends r quite close to them, i must still learn to bond with them... got to know them better, but i'm not very confident if they'll become as good friends as those i've made at NJ... think i'll drift with those at NJ too... hai... haha... but think there's always the pros n cons in everything... at least there're more friends with me at AJ... haha... Attended a tutorial with my Physics tutor Mr Chan, n i'm now so motivated to study... haha... got to get that 4 As at the end of my A'levels... made me feel that time will pass quickly so JC life won;t be that long n hard to pass by.. it's already 3 months gone, n not to mention the hols, so guess it won't be hard to pass these 2 years... haha... Hope so...

Hmm... enough bout sch stuff... went to Yew Tee today to help out with the perfomance today... still haven't decided if i want to join AJCO... not sure if i still want to carry on in CO or just find another CCA in which i would be able to learn new stuff... considerin 3 or 4 CCAs.. CO, recreational baskeball, guitar or hmm... not sure, maybe band or something like tennis or squash... haha... some of these sports look quite fun... but not sure bout the portfolio thingy though... haha... but think if i do science research would get the portfolio also... think CO is quite hectic, so dunno if want to carry on with it... hai... got a feelin like betrayin NJCO also... haha... no lag... just kiddin haha...

Eh... though i said i wanted to stop talkin bout my sch stuff? Haha... ok.. i'll stop talkin bout that... hmm... heard bout lots of things happenin in my alma mater... had quite an ok impression of my principal in the past... thought Cat High would improve alot under him... however, guess i was wrong... he's a realistic person... a REAL realistic person... won't elaborate much lest i become accused of defamin him n stuff like that, but ppl who r interested to know can ask me.. but think i dun feel like sayin much already... the only thing i will say to him is, since u regard us as band 3 students, then i only have this to say to u:" We won't talk to a band 3 principal... especially one which made us in band 3 and placed the blame all upon us n our batch of teachers" I'll remember wat u said for life... Other things which i heard was that a junior of mine was expelled... Guess it was his own fault... who asked him to break the rules, n severely... in my opinion, he was an extremely dumb n arrogant person... challengin the rules like this n stuff... he has only himself to blame... but then when i think back again, he's my junior... though not directly, but he's still considered my junior... I still feel sad for him somehow...

Hmm... another incident which happened recently... *her* n her friend had some misunderstandings... dun understand girls.. dunno why they have so many conflicts... Feel like helpin them to settle their probs, but somehow i'm like on *her* side... haha... or at least i'm seen to be on *her* side... haha... feel so awkward in front of her friend... somehow bring it upon myself wheneer they have some probs between them... haha... i'm wierd.. haha

To Liyuan: I hope that we'll never separate... not now, not ever... i hope... I really do... 10 years, a test of our love... I love U now... Hope to say this to u again, 10 years down the road... Hope u settle ur probs... :P

Collin Raye- Love Me Lyrics

2006-03-20T01:41:00.000+08:00

I read a note my grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said boy you might not understand
But a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to
And live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were
Supposed to meet instead
I found this letter and this is what it said

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I 'll be loving you
Love me

I read those words just hours before
My grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church
When me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry
All my 15 years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll need
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

Between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

-To Dearest Liyuan: The future is filled with unknown dangers and obstacles that I'm sure that we'll overcome together... However, just in case, if somehow I fall behind, please do not give up upon me, because I know that deep down in our hearts... Love will always be amongst us... Love Me...

-To 06S11( 1st 3 months) of NJC:
Though I won't be able to walk the rest of my JC life with U people, U people have been great to me... I'll always cherish the wonderful memories we shared together... Thanks:P I'll always be loving u people n NJC... Love Me

2006-03-08T17:48:00.000+08:00

Haha...it has really been a long long long time since the last time i updated my blog... the reason why i took such a long time to update is because i've accumulated far too many things for me to say... that's why i'll update slowly, forgettin some things in the process so that i won't have to update so much... hai... anyway dun think there's anything worth updating about... so many things have happened to me, mostly bad... n these r memories that i would choose to forget... but then without unhappy stuff, how would we know we r truly happy when happy things happen?

Hai... My mood now is bad n terrible... it isn't because of anyone... guess it's just the gods tryin to play a harsh joke on me... n this joke is so bad that i really can't take it... it is almost like a dream that i can't wake up from... this joke began all the way bout a month ago on the 10th feb 2006... it was a day that was highly anticipated... it should have been a day when everybody would celebrate...but guess it turned out to be a day when most would grief... a grief that is unforgettable n painful... it was the release of the 2005 O'levels results...

we already heard news on our way to sch from the JCs we were posted to in our first 3 months... news that were greatly negative... while some others were happy their sch had done well, all we could do was to not believe in the news that's circulatin, n continue to believe in ourselves... however, as we finally stepped into the sch hall that we once had many memories, great n lousy, we were to experience the worst memory we would all have in that hall where we once dwelled... OUr sch did not perform as well in the o'levels as expected.. in fact, we performed far worse... WORST... hai... i got 10 for my L1R5... it was definitely a disappointin score, n i cried, but nevertheless, i was contented as i was better than many that were far worse... but it was not a feelin that if i were given a choice, ever to experience again... to see the principal showin us a black face, as well as the stories n happenings that followed this incident, it was almost like a torture to know wat is happenin to ur alma mater because of wat u n ur batch of fellow sch mates have done... guess we really have to blame ourselves for wat had happened to us... with some time, i eventually got over this... but never once did i forget...

However, another blow was to happen to me after i recovered from one.. it was the about 1 month away from the previous blow.. one which till now, i'm still feelin bad about... one that i know i haven't recoverd yet... it was the 3rd of march... the release of our JAE postin results... despite the failure i faced at the o's, i was still expectin that amongst all that had taken place, i might still be given a chance to remain at the college that i've bonded n developed a loyalty n belongin towards the sch... however, the joke hasn't ended... we reap wat we sow... perhaps this is really wat happened to me... i wasn't able to stay at NJC... instead, i was posted to a sch that if given a chance, i would never have chose that sch... it is indeed a sch that made me appreciate more the sch i was in before...i won't name this sch as i would offend the sch, n i still want to respect this new sch even though i dun like it... when i first got posted to this sch, i still harboured hopes of returnin to my previous college... but then as days passed, n now things have more or less settled, i guess my chances r as small as a pea...but i'm still hopin, but i dun hope for much...i'm just prepared for the worst i guess, or m i just afraid that the more i hope, the greater i would fall? I'm prayin... prayin very hard for just that little chance... even that little chance for me to return... now i realise just how much i really love NJC... in the beginnin, i even thought i would change sch if my results turn out to be better... but then if given a choice now, i would have chose to stay even if i've gotten all the A1s...

Haha... thought i might not have a chance to stay at NJC ever again, but in the time that i was there, i've had some of the best experiences that i would ever get... these r some of the memories that belongs to only my class, n these r definitely memories that i won't ever forget... haha... there's so many ppl that i've developed a new impression towards... ppl that i've eventually learned to appreciate n see their good sides... Thanks 06S11...

-To Liyuan:Haha... u think i'll forget bout u ah.. haha... no lah... i want to thank u too for bein with me throught tough times too...

2006-02-19T02:58:00.000+08:00

eee.. u din update your blog.. nvm.. i help u update. haha

u owe me testimonials!!!
return return return. haha..

aiyer... cannot chat with u online le.. but u are calling me later so nvm.. haha.. oops.. it s so late now.. 3am. oops.. 333.. haha.. eee, i scare myself for wat..

it's has been tough these few days. but we'll make it through.=). we are just searching for our breakthrough. haha. i believe it's near. the future will be better.

i wasn't looking for love but somehow i just found u.

posted by liyuan.

2006-02-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

Haha... HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! Haha... I know this is a little late, but at least i made it... haha... sorry. to everyone out there, especially *HER*, who has been tryin to ask me to update my blog, but i just din do so...hai... had really been rather busy, n wasn't feelin well this past few days... was down with flu n cough, n the worst thing was that i kept havin a headache... felt alot like a fever, but the temperature just wasn't there... haha... hmm... feelin alot better now, but still got alittle sore throat... but think it'll be well soon...

Haha... dun talk bout such unhappy things... Let's talk bout happier things... YAY!!! It's chinese new year again!!!(Can't U see it's so fake? I'm happy bout something else... Haha... Happy 4th Month Anniversary!!!) Haha... All the red packets r comin in already... but dun think i'm goin to suander them all off, or at least i'm tryin not to... haha... i want to save my money this year...then i'll see n consider wat i can buy then... haha...

Hmm...this year's celebration for chinese new year is quite different from previous years... Cos this year, i'm in JC already... not quite the same as the celebrations i had in sec sch...Hmm...somehow, still think that the celebrations i had in sec sch still better... haha...perhaps it's the atmosphere ba... still not very close with JC ppl yet... so dun have the type of feelin i had in sec sch... hmm... went back to CHS after celebrations in JC... Did a cheer in JC canteen before settin off as one big group back to my alma mater... haha...felt really great when i stepped into my sec sch again... somehow dun have this feelin when i went back to my pri sch when i was in sec sch... perhaps i had really grown very attached with CHS... hmm... felt really great to see lots of my old friends... somehow, it really felt foreign to see some of those ppl i once was quite close to, or even considered as friends... perhaps the absence has really made all of us distant... the familiarity is like gone, n somehow, they r not really those ppl that u once know them as...However, for some ppl, somehow the hostility u had with them befoer like gone already... u somehow see them as someone u would really like to see, after havin not seen them for such a long time... Hmm...played bb with a few of those ppl that i used to play with in sec sch.. everybody's standards have changed somehow... haha...went to watch Huo Yuan Jia with some other friends later on... actually suppose to watch I not stupid too, but not enough tix... haha... too bad...

Hmm... think dun want to fully elaborate the whole new year period... think it's really too long... haha... just want to say that went to lesser places this year, but met many relatives that i've not met before... haha... din know that my family tree has grown so big over the years... New year is really a period when i can really get to know ppl in my family much better... especially my mother's side... my aunt gave the whole family on my mother's side a treat, n i met many relatives that i've not met before, or not met in a long time... everybody has changed somehow durin the period when we've not seen each other...hmm...went to stay overnight at WT's house on one of the nights... think it's the 2nd day of new year.. haha... suppose to walk around sengkang n chat one, but in the end just stayed indoors... chat n played some games on the com too...

Hmm... Sch has began proper le... think i;ve more or less gotten used to the life in NJC already... the lessons, the ppl, the environment... haha... think it's still not that bad here... hai... good things dun last... heard the results r comin out this comin fri... on 10th feb... dunno how everything will turn out... worried that i might not do well then all my hopes r gone... hai... why does these things have to come when most of us, or everybody has gotten used to the lifestyles already...changes have to come... dunno if there'll be new sch mates, or will i leave NJC for greener pastures, or for places not of my choice....

Hmm... think i'll remain optimistic... it's the new year after all... got to keep myself cheerful....haha... think that's all for this blog... gettin rather tired,,, got class outin tomorrow also... haha...Cya the the next time ...

-To dearest Liyuan: Haha... I've finally updated le... this is the thing that u've always wanted me to do... u dunno meh? haha... think u act dumb...haha... tryin to type this last line... but u nudge me.. haha...u now askin me to talk to u... ok lah... tell u something... something only for u... I LOVE U!!! haha...

2006-01-22T01:55:00.000+08:00

Haha...Long time din blog le...It seems like everytime i blog it always starts this way... haha... perhaps it's cos i always din blog for a long time... think it's ok to keep people waitin, but then to let *HER* wait is really wrong...haha...Think it's about time i blog too..haha... but the reason why i din blog was because i thought nobody was visitin my blog anyway wat, since there's nobody taggin my tagboard... Haha..turns out, it was cos i din reply her tag so she din tag... Haha... I'm Sorry... so it was all my fault... haha...

Hmm...think it'll be good to update people on how my life is now since the last time i blogged ba... hmm... Orientation's now officially over le...haha...somehow like rather get used n fit into the sch le... Haha... But then again, i'm still considerin if i'll remain in NJC if my o'levels results r good... then again, will my results be good?Hmm... Heard that the results will be released on the 10 Feb... somehow like look forward to that day alot...can finally reunite with many friends on the day... will be able to catch up with them n find out how it was like at the different JCs..somehow can go back to my sec sch n have some fun there too... but then, i'll still have to go to NJC with my results regardless good or bad until march ends... hai... dunno how it'll be like then... With myself havin gotten use to the sch, n signed up for the cca n diff programs, it'll be wierd if i sudenly go to another sch with another environment, havin to get use to another totally diff environment... hmm... but then, will i be forced by circumstances if my results r too poor, to a sch whisch i does not like? hmm... that is something in the future.. it is an uncertainty... it'll still be the best if i can just cherish the present n be happy ba...

Hmm..talkin bout NJC, I've not yet elaborated bout my orientation finale n life now... Hmm... we had a dance party on the last day of orientation until bout 10 plus in sch...haha... had lots of fun dancin n doin the mass dance many times... I've not dance before, so i was rather reserved when they played other music other than the songs for mass dance... however, i was soon comforted by my class mates who just tried to enjoy themselves thought they dun really know how to dance either... so in the end, we just shake our bodies to the beat n try to enjoy ourselves with the music...Hmm...enjoyed the mass dance alot too... it was funny tryin to dance the girl's part, but then it was rather disgustin dancin it with another guy, so i skipped some of the more intimate parts of the dance when with a guy such as holdin hands part...haha... some of the highlights of the dance party was also when i went to refill some of the empty bottles with my friends, n splashed the water onto the OGLs n some other friends that were dancin... haha... somehow it was like revenge cos i was splashed by my OGLs too... haha... in the end like everyone was wet...haha... that's how a dance party's suppose to be like...haha... people r suppose to get high n wet... haha... had lots of fun that night... haha... somehow made me realise that the type of fun that JC students have n the type of fun which sec sch students enjoy r diff... haha... perhaps that's the diff between a more mature adolescent n a younger one...

Hmm... regardin the 2nd week of orientation, i had lots of activities n class bondin games... we had 2 war games, onw which was played on a wet n muddy field which got me REAL dirty, with mud all over my clothes n my shoes... however, can't deny that i had lots of fun splashin water over ppl...haha... the 2nd war games was cleaner as we were to get off the field... hmm... hit a couple of OGLs with my spot on water bomb throwin skills... haha... i filled a pail with water, then hurried to where i could get the closest to the OGLs... i then managed to splash all the water onto a poor OGL who was busy shootin ppl with water guns...haha... poor her... i'm sorry... haha... hmm...had station games in the 2nd week of orientation too... played some games like dodgeball n tug of war... had many games which really strengthened our class spirit... My class's more united now...haha... that's basically some of the stuff of orientation..

Hmm.. for this past week, lessons have started, but the timetable's not up yet, so we just basically have lectures only...Haha... there's basically only bout 2 lectures,1 which lasts only 50 min, in a day, with civics on mon n fri, n contact time on weds... so basically, i'm off bout 1pm everyday cos there's a rule that states that u cannot leave the college until 1 pm...haha...hmm... had to paint a class banner for chinese new year this week... think ours is quite nice... we displayed our class spirit, with everyone havin played a part somehow or another, paintin some parts of the banner somehow... hmm... thought i agree that some of the other banners by the other classes r nice, but i'm glad that my class has produced such a work with our class spirit... Way to Go 06S11!!

不会让你因为爱哭泣...

终有一天你会看到，

Guardian Angel Charlie

那是我的心，一直在守护着你，

天使他一定能够感应。。。

113 days n Counting...113 msgs n collectin...

I LOVE U...

My Results for an Age Quiz

2006-01-11T23:36:00.001+08:00

You Are 17 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

2006-01-05T22:25:00.000+08:00

Haha...so long haven't update my blog... remember the last time i updated was christmas...left messages for many ppl... haha... actually those whose names weren't there dun feel bad...i thought u while typin those messages... u urself know whether i treat u as a friend right? hai...nvm...

Hmm..this is the first week of sch le...still got alittle not used to it cos like so long holiday...then after o's just slack all the way... dun really feel like goin to sch yet...but not like more or less get used to it le...like more or less in the sch mood le... the only thing is that really miss *HER* alot...canot see her as much as before le... in fact like keep missin her the whole day, in fact all the time, but alli ould do was just sms her... but not able to see her... actually it has only been like a few days, but then it jsut seems like years...so long... hai...

Oh ya... haven't talked bout my jc yet... i'm in NJC for 1st 3 months lor... hmm... quite borin on the first day cos alot of talks... think first week is about the same... administration stuff... 2nd week of orientation is more fun n activities... hmm... chose my subjects today...not sure if want to do econs or hist... so first choice choose 4 H2s, Phy, Chem, Maths, Econs( PCME)... 2nd choice choose 3 H2s n 2 H1s, the econ change to H1 n another Hist h1... hmm...think will most probably knnow my class tomorrow or next mon... can't wait to get into my class... dunno who'll be in the same class as me... a little nervous, but alittle excited n happy too... not that my OG group isn't nice, but the feelin of everything not settled yet just feels uncomfortable... haha...

Hmm...the previous entry made by *HER* really touches me... everytime i read it i'll feel so emotional... haha... really makes me feel so good, n brings back alot of memories, yet at the same time makes me feel nostalgic...

Hmm...think this is all for this entry... will talk more in my next entry... very worried bout my o's results now... haha... dunno how it'll be.. think most probably will stay in nj le... if not go Vj or Rj... But HC like very good, except that think it's goin to be extremely stressful.. haha...

My love for u increases each day, n i miss u more with each comin day... however, the thought of u makes my day greater; better...- To Liyuan:P

2006-01-02T20:15:00.003+08:00

And I Love You So Don Mclean

And i love you so
The people ask me how
How i've lived till now
I tell them i don't know

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes, i know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But i don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And you love me too
your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free
I'm happy that you do

The book of life is brief
And once the page is read
All but love is there
That is my belief

And yes, i know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But i don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And i love you so
The people ask me how
How i've lived till now
I tell them i don't know

thanks for everything u had given me. In you, i found my courage to love again..

posted by liyuan

My Christmas Message

2005-12-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

Hey...Merry Christmas to All... Hope everyone has a great Christmas this year... Many things have happened this year, good n bad, n i hope that things will go well for everyone... There is always a new beginnin...Always maintain an optimistic n positive attitude...keep urselves happy n forget ur troubles...

Through the many things that have happened this year, i've learnt that the most important things in life r the relationships u share with ur friends n families... Though i would have very much wanted my life to be the same as before, with everything bein simple, my friends still the same, n my sec sch life not endin that fast, but there's one change that i welcome the most... *HER* comin into my life...

To Dearest Liyuan: My christmas wish for u is to always be happy... that smile always on ur face...I'll always be there for u...I Love U...

To Lao Shu: The disappointment and sadness that comes with not being able to be with the one u love is truly painful n difficult to get over with, but life still has to go on... Life is not about givin the one u love all nor only about ur love, but is about leadin a meaningful life. No matter wat u do, always ensure u have no regrets whatsoever later in life...

To Qq: Hey Buddy...4 years is over just like that... Haha... 1/4 of my life is spent with u leh...haha... Had many misunderstandings n unhappiness between us in the past...Hope that everything is resolved n all our unhappiness forgotten... there is a new beginnin for the both of us in different JCs, n all the best to u...

To WT: Hey...dunno wat to say to u...haha... u're a great addition to my life...AS A FRIEND...haha... ALL the best to u in HC n hope ur relationship with ur mom will improve...

To LG: Hey...u're the last cos u're the youngest...haha... It was great knowin u...Din know that i would find such a great friend in my life in CHS...U really made my days in CHS meaningful( not that the others didn't...haha...) All the best to U in HC...

To 2703ers: Life was 2-7 was indeed the happiest days of my life in CHS... though it was also the year that i had many regrets, but bein in 2-7 was not... Hope we continue to keep in contact...

To All My Friends: Haha...it's tiring havin to write for all... If u think u're my friend then this message is for u... Though i din write ur names here, but u know that u're in my heart...If u're in 4-2 n wonderin if u're my friend, dun worry... U're all my friends now... Though i've regretted gettin into this class, i've never regretted knowin u all...The regrets have all turned into gratitude as i've learned alot from u all...For all my other friends, CO or not, basketball buddies n all, i've enjoyed all ur companies...i all make my life worthwhile... Though we may all have different beginnings in our future endeavours, U'll all always be a part of my memories... All the best to u all n keep in contact:P

2005-12-24T01:00:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone...i'm back again with a new entry...had lots of activities in my absence....it's really some of the highlights of my life...had a really great time n that i'm very happy to have spent these times with really good friends...n *HER*...

Firstly, let me start off with the highly anticipated 2703 chalet from 12th-16th dec...though i only went from 12th-15th, the fun i had was great... had lots of fun which were not present at the chalets..of course, the other chalets had other funs of their own...had other traits which made them appealin n fun for me cos of the different company i had at these chalets...At the 2703 chalets, we had lots of physical activities, cyclin, swimmin, soccer, and we had a movie marathon...watched many great movies which were humorous n really made our days at chalet...hmm...suffered an injury from chalet though, stepped on stone while playin soccer barefooted...so much for tryin to act zai...haha... but wat made the chalet great was of cos the great company of pals from 2703...

hmm...had another chalet...the yew tee cc chinese orchestra chalet...was a little different from the others cos i was in charge of the bbq...din really do a good job cos had to plan for 2 days, n it was indeed not an easy job...the ppl din really carried out activities as a group, n there were times when it was a little sian...however, the company was great especially with *HER* around, n it just made the whole chalet worthwhile...haha...

hmm...my JC postin results for my 1st 3 months r out...hmm...posted to NJC...was a little disappointed cos 3 of my closest pals r goin to HCI...was really hopin to enter HCI too but too bad, my results just weren't good enough...however, i'm not sad either cos NJC's not a bad place either....we have to be contented with wat we have... wat's more there's the o's results, n NJC n HCI r just opposite each other...we can always still meet each other n go home together... i have many other friends goin to NJC too...

-I'll always be there for u to share ur troubles...

2005-12-08T14:22:00.000+08:00

Haha...found this quiz while readin friends' blogs...it's very accurate..haha...

July,
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and
to be understood.Quiet unless excited or
tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about
people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly.
Approachable. Emotional temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and
sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never
forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary
things. Guides others physically and mentally.
Sensitive and forms impressions carefully.
Caring and loving. Treats others equally.
Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp.
Judges people through observations.
Hardworking. No difficulties in studying

What does your birth month reveal about you? (read memo)
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-12-06T12:17:00.000+08:00

our connection is stronger each day
i love u

wat i wan to say is beyond words,
but yet can be expressed by a simple look into ur eyes...

posted by her.

2005-12-05T21:17:00.000+08:00

Haha....Here to blog again... dunno what to say cos like nothing to say but still feel like bloggin...haha... boring...eh...no... Life's Beautiful with *HER*...Haha...hmm... wat to say? Maybe bout the chalet i had last week ba...It's the CO chalet 2005...it was from er... Weds to Fri... Had an ok time cos there wasn't much to do except mahjong n cards... Ok lah...that's only partially lah...it's cos *SHE* weren't there too lah...haha... hmm... Couldn't really find anyone to go n explore the area with me...However it was a really good opportunity to catch up with friends n juniors lor...haha... Sittin down under the moonlight n chattin bout the past or anything... It feels really good to be able to find friends to talk about just anything... Hmm...had a crap time with some of my best friends- Lg, Qq, Wt n me wat becomin sworn brothers under the blessin of the BBQ god ah...Usin Satays as the joss sticks or wat then eatin the satays to signify our union ah...haha...crap... Hmm... did an unforgivable thing though at the lsat day of chalet... Lg, WT, Alvin, me n ZX was chattin through the night then decided to pack up n leave Qq n BK at the chalet...we left the chalet at around 6+ then reached compass point around 7 for breakfast at macs... Was like din really expect Qq to be so angry with us lor...like have been ignorin us from last fri till today...Hmm... sms or call him also din answer lor...At least we left him with BK leh... We weren't able to sleep that's why leave also wat...Hai...hope he'll forgive us soon ba...

Hmm... had many friends that r goin overseas nowadays... Wilson Tay goin Thailand, Andy in China, Alvin in Malaysia n Jerome in New Zealand...Envy friends that r able to go overseas...think even LG is goin Japan... Haha...But nvm cos got *HER* company...:P

I love u:P

Love Personality Results

2005-12-03T02:10:00.000+08:00

Charlie Liew, your love personality type is ISFJ

Being an ISFJ, you can be the ultimate team player. This may be largely due to the deep and abiding loyalty you tend to exhibit toward the important people in your life. It can also be a result of the typical ISFJ philosophy that puts the needs of the group before your own desires. The bonds you share with people can run deep, so even those you don't see very often may be considered dear friends. Chances are, your loyalty and caring toward others is duly noted. It's no surprise that people naturally gravitate to such a warm spirit.In relationships, you appear to use both your head and your heart. It can pain you to see those close to you unhappy and you'll often go out of your way to take care of others. However in your case, being caring doesn't necessarily mean being gushy or overly sentimental. More often, you believe that your actions will simply speak for themselves.

2005-12-03T01:25:00.000+08:00

Hmm... think it has been a week from my previous blog already...had a great week again...Went out with friends on mon to town to buy clothes for grad night on tues... haha... found that i should have bought the clothes myself... Thanks Dad for accompanyin to buy my clothes but i'm sorry that i din wear them:P... Hmm...Somehow it was wierd seein friends buyin clothes but u din...in the end only bought a t-shirt... but hoped to have bought more clothes...

Hmm...tues was the day...GRADUATION NIGHT 2005...Haha...the day which all the sec 4s r finally gathered as one, in a hotel... high class...haha...had a great night... Thanks SLB for havin done such a great job...i'll miss my days as an SL... haha... hmm...Grad night was indeed memorable n i'll always remember this day...the nostalgia at the farewell assembly was absent, n we all felt great...even as the night ends, there wasn't the tears-sheddin n sadness that we felt at farewell assembly... too bad there were not many teachers that attended the event... Haha...Couldn't believe wat i saw at Grad Night... Yong Lian wore a skirt to the event... applaud his courage n stuff in order to wear a skirt there, somemore with thick makeup n stuff... Very funny...haha...but it's cos of ppl like him that days at CHS were never bored...haha...

To Liyuan: Thanks for all Ur time n effort in helpin me with grad night stuff...haha... I love U:P

Hmm...Wed to Fri was the chalet for chinese orchestra... Hmm... not many ppl attended but at least there were enough ppl there... let's just say that many ppl that r suppose to be there r there, but there were some who weren't there...haha... wat a coincidence... 4-4's chalet n Ambrose's chalet was on at the same time as the CO chalet...in the end i went between the 3 chalets... love the kind of feelin that u have many friends at chalet with u... had a great time at chalet...Played long hours n mahjong...think i'm alittle sick of it already...haha... Love my friends... dunno when's the next time i'l see them again...

Hmm...tired from the chalet...think i'm goin to rest..haha...Cya all again next time :P

2005-11-27T02:02:00.000+08:00

Haha...Here to blog again...Hmm...Like got alot to say but also not sure wat to say...haha...Went to Esplanade yesterday...Like the 4th time i went there...the first time i'm there not to perform...just go there to explore, went to the lib n stuff... Hmm...the exterior of Esplanade is really great, but somehow felt that it wasn't worthy of the millions invested in it...Haha...the best part of the day was the time spent at the merlion n the Singapore River...A great place to be, especially with *HER* around...I'll NEVER forget this day...Haha...It's because of things like this that makes life beautiful...It's because of people like *HER* in my life that makes me a lucky n fortunate person...Haha...

I dun know bout the future, but i know that the present is the best moments of my life, n it'll remain always in my mind...I want u to always be happy...I wasn't unhappy cos u made me, but cos u weren't happy...I love U- To Liyuan

Life is Beautiful n Great with U

2005-11-25T00:50:00.001+08:00

Haha...Been quite a long time since i last blogged...can tell my avid readers r anxious for my new entry...haha...just jokin... I'm really sorry to all who have been comin to my blog regularly, but wasn't able to see any updates...

The last time i blogged was like before the o's right? Hmm... how quick time passes us by... O's is now officially OVER!!!! Haha... tryin to get the atmosphere back...think i've gotten use to it by now already... feelin normal again, except without those burdens n pressure to perform...think the O's have been quite easy...hope everyone will do well, n we'll achieve new heights next year!!!Haha...Since the O's r over, dun want to elaborate more..haha...now is the time to celebrate!!!:P

Hmm...all the plans, wishes, longings before the O's... Now able to be realised...so many things to do all at the same time, really dun know wat to do first...haha...think one step at a time ba...

Hai...officially graduated from CHS...currently facin a dilemna...dunno which JC to choos...i have until this Sat, 4.00pm to decide... Hai... Why do we have to undergo this thinkin process after the O's? Strived so hard, hopin to get into a top-notched JC...then now, dunno where i want to go...my score like good not say very good, but it isn't that bad either...hai...think i'll consider longer ba...haha...

Hmm...went to the elderly's home last Sat...had a great time... learnt many meaningful things bout the way of life... think it's important to spend more time with ur family ba...it's terrible to be lonely when u're old...hai...really appreciate n cherish my family more now...

Haha...had a really great week... had some great changes, and i feel that my life is more beautiful... Enjoyed most of the week, but cannot deny that i'm quite tired from all these fun..haha...watched 2 movies this week... Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, as well as the Exorcism of Emily Rose...Haha.....shall not go into details bout the movie, except that i've had a great great time...it was wonderful...haha... enjoyed her company:P

Yawn... tired already...thought O's over but will still get tired...not good to sleep too late( ok lah i know it's late already...haha...) Think i'm goin to sleep already...bye:P

2005-11-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

Cancer
( 21/6 to 7/22)

11/20/2005 to 11/26/2005
You will have all the right moves so prepare to make one that will stop someone who interests you in his or her tracks. This is a perfect week to take physical action and let your true feelings be known.

2005-11-09T16:20:00.000+08:00

wat i noe bout charlie....

ANY RESEMBLANCE IS PURELY COINCIDENCE =))

01.Your name -- charlie liew zheng long
02. Hobbies -- basketball, torturing guinea pig
03. Gender -- male, was a female actually..haha..jkjk
04. School -- CHS
05. Height -- 180. haha...
06. Horoscope -- cancer
08. Address -- sengkang area
09. Email add -- charlie_liew@hotmail.com
10. Hair -- short
11. Eye Colour -- brown
12. Hair colour -- black
13. Right or left handed -- right
14. status -- ATTACHED!
15. Siblings -- 1 elder bro, 1 bro, 1 sis
16. Last 4 digit of your mobile no -- 7825
17. When's your Birthday -- 05071989
=====================*Have you...*
21. Tried smoking -- no?
22. Drink alcohol -- yes
23. Been hurt emotionally -- yes..
24. Kept a secret from anyone -- yes
25. Been on stage -- yes
=====================*Favourites*
26. Color -- Green!
27. Food -- shit . haha.. i guess is fattening food. llol
29. Number -- 5?
30. Cartoons -- power ranger!
32. Song -- emo songs?
33. Movie -- R21 movies =p
34. Subject -- history, math
====================*Right now* (4pm)
36. Wearing -- uniform
37. Hairstyle -- normal hairstyle
38. Looking at -- at an auntie, he thinks she s chio..haha
39. Thinking of -- someone
40. Listening to -- his frens crapping
================*Do you believe in...*
41. Love -- yes
42. Faith -- yea.
43. Yourself -- sometimes yes and sometimes no?
44. Ghosts -- yes?
45. Angels -- yes?
===============*In the last 24hrs...*
46. Worn jeans -- no.
47. Cleaned your room -- no?
48. cried -- no.
49. met someone new -- no
50. Last person I talk to on the phone -- alvin?
==============*Love life*
51. do u believe in love -- yes
52. Have a secret admired -- duno
53. Do you wanna get married -- shuld be yes ba
55. How old you wanna be when you get married -- 20 plus to 30 plus?
56. How old you wanna be when you have your kids?-- wah...i guess charlie oso duno
57. How many kids do you want -- 2?
58. Would you have kids before marriage -- haha..if accident happens ba..=p
59. Do you have a Crush -- YES?
60. What do you want most in a Relationship -- trust, communication
===============*Other*
61. Pink or Black -- pink!.... de opposite
62. Kiss or hug -- hugs and kisses
63. Summer or winter -- winter
64. Sunny or rainy -- sunny
65. Chocolate or vanilla -- chocolate.hey! he own a choc factory k?
66. Hanging out or chillin -- both
67. Music or TV -- both
68. Hamburger or Pizza -- both
69. Smile or Laughing -- both.
70. Sleeping or eating -- both.
71. Mc Donald's or KFC -- mac
72. Silver or gold -- silver
73. Sunset or sunrise -- sunset.coz he wakes up at noon,he wil nv see e sunrise.llol
74. On phone or in person -- on phone
75. Diamonds or Pearls -- diamonds
76. Adidas or puma -- adidas
77. Band members or models -- weird qn..i tink is band members
78. Local or international Artist -- depends
79. sneakers or boots -- sneakers
80. Jack daniels or Chivas Regal -- chivas regal
81. Dunhill or Marlboro -- marlboro
82. clubbing or live music -- live music?
83. Johnny depp or Brad Pitt -- liyuan.haha!
84. angelina Jolie or Kate Hudson -- duno
85. colosal/epic or romantic comedy -- romantic comedy
86. sexy/naughty or kind/plain -- sexy and naughty!
87. BMW or Mercedes -- mercedes?
88. incubus or maroon 5 -- maroon 5
90. long haired or bald -- bald!
91. pop or rock -- both.
92. beach or mountain -- both? or more to..mountain?
93. Pepsi or Coke -- mmm..coke?
95. nokia or ericsson -- nokia.
96. 311 or hoobastank -- hoobastank
97. Asia or America -- both?
98. tattoo or piercing -- piercing
99. american idol or canadian idol -- liyuan idol... yea, wats wrong my fan? haha..
100.asking / answering -- BOTH!

haha... am i accurate?
posted by liyuan 9/11/05

2005-11-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

U make my day Beautiful too

Haha...Thanks for spendin such a long n boring time with me at the library today...U have made even the most boring activity interestin to me with ur presence...sorry for having u go through such a boring time with me:P -To Liyuan

Today was a rather boring yet interesting day...haha...self-contradicting right...oxymoron...that's wat i studied today wat...the rise and fall of Venice...Some of the points really contradicts one another, but think it contributes to the rise or fall of Venice due to other factors, as well as the period of time in which it was used...

Haha...Why is today a boring day? It is because had alot of waiting today...waited at the polyclinic, waited for transport, and even had to force myself to complete studying the so many points, which some i think are useless, of the Rise and Fall of Venice at Jurong library...Was one of the most terrible library experiences of my life...haha...to think i even used to love goin to the library...Haha...too much studyin is no good for one's physical and mental health...Go out and get some activity, go n play some sports or exercise yourself...It'll do ur body much good...U need a balance man...haha...this is to the crowds of people at the library...haha...wat a despicable mugger i m...haha....tryin to trick them out so that i can study at the library...haha...

Why is my day interesting then? Haha...already told u at the beginning of the blog...It's because of *her*:P

Hai...few more days left to my O'Levels already...Can feel some stress already...feeling a little anxious too, but i'm still positive that i'll be able to finish studyin in time...few more chapters to finish my social studies...Hope my O's will be over n done with soon...Two weeks is a short period of time...or so it seems...Haha..

liyuan: u are so sweet. =) -<-@ rose for ya

2005-11-02T18:09:00.000+08:00

you made my day beautiful...

posted by liyuan 2/11/05

2005-10-31T00:38:00.000+08:00

Liyuan invades !

haha..nothing better to do, come and ruin his blog.=P

i'll be *kind (big evil grin)

charlie was late today.

supposed to meet us at 10 to go lib

but den,he woke up at 12.

ok la, i woke up at 12 plus today, so canot scold him.haha

alvin was e earliest, reached there at 11.

haha, eveybody was late today.

aiyah, duno wat to write.

o yah, we are going to have co chalet at downtown east there. 3 days 2 nights. It will be fun.

looking forward to that day.

feel so weird to write in other's blog.

bbye!

2005-10-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

Haha...it has been a long, long time since i last blogged...actually was plannin to just abandon my blog, but someone helped me revive it...made me start updatin again...she really rocks lah...Haha...helped me with the skin n stuff...my blog looks great right?( Not nice also must say nice ah...*she* helped me with it one leh...surely nice)Haha...come n think of it, really a long period of time since i last blogged...alot of things happened to me...think too many to say...some happy, some sad, but think i m overall still quite fortunate now...got friends, n er...a great person to help me with stuff...a person i can bother until she cannot atke it...Hahaha...ok lah...scared she later read already i die...haha...scared of her...she sicko one...

Haha...enough bout that...update bout some stuff bout my studies first...my prelim confirmed L1R5 is 8...hai...got some disappointments in my prelims in some subjects particularly humanities n language, but think we must be contented with our achievements...too late to change the fact n it was really my fault that i din put in enough effort...Hai...O's approachin already...my first paper starts 7 nov Social Studies n Maths paper 1...workin hard now...hopin to score better than my prelims...Haha, but really quite happy with my prelim score already...but still not sure which JC i want to go for my first 3 months...

Haha...think this is basically everything which happened so far to me...too many things occurred, but think these r the more recent things...if remember then next time update...Oh ya..remember something else...I've graduated from Catholic High already...4 years of happiness, disappointment, sadness...1702, 2703, 3204, 4205...all really past memories...had many great memories, as well as events i can't wait to get rid of their traces in my brain...Had a great grad assembly, almost cried but managed to control myself...Just want to say these words to all teachers in Catholic High, all those who have taught me n those that have not...I LOVE U TEACHERS!!!THANKS FOR ALL THAT U ALL HAVE DONE FOR US!!!...Haha...really amazin how 4 years can just pass me by in that instant, that within that assembly, all memories just seemed to flood me...hai...

Haha...had quite a long blog already...haha..this is only my second entry...haha...will update it more often, if not then just let someone anyhow post things lor...haha...Love Her:P

My First Blog

2005-05-03T12:22:00.000+08:00

Well... This is the first blog since I set up my blog... not sure wat to write, so maybe i'll just introduce myself... i m an average Singapore student, i enjoy play basketball, i m in my sch's chinese orchestra, and oh ya... i m 15, going on 16... hope to do well for my o'levels... aiming for HCI...Hehehe :)... May be quite difficult though considering I have to compete with several groups of people... I m in combined science express... believe it or not, i got 250 for PSLE... unbelieveable right... but never mind... I got 250... I've been working hard since sec 3 n who knows, combined science might be an advantage for me...Hahaha... Well, it might not even be difficult for me to get 6 points before deductions of points...People who score 23 something can score 9 A1s u know... wat would that make those with 250? Hahaha... u see why i say i m arrogant... but hey, look at it from another point n u would say i m optimistic... we must have dreams in order to succeed...but making it to HCI is not a dream, it is a goal, a goal to realise my dreams... My Life, My Rules...